


Substandard Courting

by LadyAuroraPendragon



Series: The Series of Miscommunications [2]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Drunkenness, F/M, Jealousy, M/M, Magic Revealed, a pining Leon, annoying kitchen staff, canon up to season 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-23
Updated: 2014-07-16
Packaged: 2018-01-26 05:49:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 30,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1677059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyAuroraPendragon/pseuds/LadyAuroraPendragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Arthur tries to court Merlin, and Merlin has no idea.<br/>(Story is better than the summary.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Español available: [Cortejo Deplorable](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2340797) by [Jake91](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jake91/pseuds/Jake91)



> (Here is the sequel to Miscommunication, I don't own Merlin, but I wish I did. Anyway, enjoy!)

_Substandard: Below the usual standard._

_Courting: To establish a relationship of a more endearing kind._

"Parry…I said to parry!"

WHACK!

"Ow!" Merlin yelled, rubbing his own backside, dropping the sword he had been holding just seconds ago. "And I told you to stop doing that!" he barked, the sting of pain still smarting on his skin. This was stupid anyways, he didn't need to learn how to use a sword, he had his magic to protect him, but of course Arthur didn't know that.

Ever since Merlin had returned from his vacation, which more or less meant kidnapping, Arthur had been very keen on teaching him some defense skills. So what, Merlin thought, he might have gotten wounded by a bandit, it was Arthur's big, dumb idea not to just leave him there and run off on his own, prompting these stupid bandits to chase them through the woods, resulting in Merlin having to use a magical rockslide to protect Arthur from them.

Needless to say, Merlin had wound up in Morgana's clutches and she had turned him into her own personal, little assassin. Luckily though, for Arthur, Merlin was the worst assassin ever. Well, that's what Gwen and Gaius told him, the whole thing was still a little fuzzy in Merlin's mind.

"Are you even listening to me…?

WHACK!

"Why do you keep doing that?!" Merlin yelled once more, rubbing his stinging bottom. Why didn't anyone ever tell the king that it was rude to hit people with swords? Merlin glared at Arthur, who smirked in return.

"Come now, Merlin," he said, as if this whole sword-fighting thing was a breeze. "We have seven more drills to do before we can be done."

"Seven more?" Merlin asked, eyes widening. He gave up then, falling over, flat on his back, he just wouldn't do it. "I don't want to…I'm hot, I'm tired…I smell like Gwaine!"

"You really are the laziest servant I have ever seen," Arthur remarked then, leaning over Merlin, blocking out the hot, summer sun. "It's my own fault, I have spoiled you."

"Spoiled me?" Merlin asked, eyes widening once again, for the second time in only a few minutes. "You've made me muck out your stables so many times…and that's not even my job!"

"Would you stop your complaining?" Arthur rolled his eyes, standing up right and running a hand through his blonde hair. "That will be all for today I suppose, but you must learn these simple drills at some point..."

"Simple my ass…" Merlin mumbled.

"They can help you protect yourself better."

"Yes, I know," Merlin nodded, leaning up on his elbows. "Can we go inside now?"

"Yes, you girl," Arthur remarked, holding his hand out, for Merlin to take. He did and was lifted up off the ground. Instead of letting go right away, though, Arthur kept his hold on Merlin's hand and grinned at him, looking him up and down. It was just as Merlin started to feel uncomfortable, did he finally move away.

Things like that, had been happening more and more since Merlin had been back, Arthur looked at him in…he didn't want to say in an affectionate way, but that's what it was. Something had shifted slightly in their relationship, it was barely noticeable, unless you were really looking. It wasn't that Arthur was kinder to him, he still treated him the same, and called him an idiot, but it was just something…

"Merlin, get your damn sword!" Arthur yelled. And Merlin pulled himself from his musing to pick it up off the ground, before following the king inside. No, he was definitely not nicer, but then again he was. Just like now, as Arthur jumped ahead to open the door to the armory for Merlin. It was strange things like that, that he had never done before, that made Merlin wonder. But perhaps Arthur was just happy Merlin wasn't dead, it had been a close call.

Merlin left Arthur in the armory then, it still being early and Merlin still needing to get his chores done. The fact that he still smelled like Gwaine and that he wouldn't be able to take a bath any time soon, if at all today, was rather annoying to him. But he did his best to ignore it as he headed down the halls. It was around this point that he bumped into Agravaine. He smiled an oily smile at Merlin as he passed and Merlin watched him, glaring. There was one more thing Merlin had found out while being Morgana's assassin, Agravaine. Merlin finally understood what bothered him so much, Agravaine was a double-crossing, lowlife, and that was on a good day. He was working for Morgana, and this whole time Arthur thought he could trust him…

Merlin sighed, it still upset him to think about, he had never liked Agravaine, but now he hated him. He wanted to tell Arthur about him, about his betrayal, Gaius was even encouraging him to, but he just didn't know how, he didn't want to hurt Arthur. And surely, this would.

Merlin finished up the chores he had to do in Arthur's chambers, he had just finished cleaning out the kings fireplace when he had walked in. Merlin didn't address him, just quickly finished his work of restocking the newly clean fireplace with wood. He was all covered in ash and soot and suddenly wished Arthur wasn't in the room so he could clean himself up with magic…

"Merlin," Arthur said then, as if rubbing the fact that he was there, in Merlin's face. "I have been thinking…"

"Oh no," Merlin mumbled, sarcastically. "You, thinking?"

"Shut up!"

"You've been thinking shut up?"

"Merlin!"

"Sorry, sire," Merlin grinned. He stood up then and constantly reminded himself not to wipe his hands on his pants, then the ash and soot would get all over his pants too.

"I have been thinking about a picnic."

"You've been thinking about one?" Merlin asked, a bit confused and a bit teasing. "Any one in particular?"

"I mean having one!" Arthur corrected him. And Merlin made and 'Ohh' noise and nodded. "Today, I was thinking we could go and have one today…"

"Today?" Merlin asked, crinkling his nose at the horrid idea. "It's hot!"

"We can go by a stream…"

"But that means I have to go make the basket and wash the blankets, find Gwen-"

"I didn't mean for Guinevere to come," Arthur said then, rather suddenly, biting down on his bottom lip. "I was thinking it would be just you and I this time…"

"Why the hell would we go on a picnic?" Merlin asked, confused. "Why would you want to go without Gwen, isn't that when you get to spend time with her…you know, outside of Camelot, where you can be more yourself?"

"I thought perhaps we needed some time to spend together…"

"Why would we need to do that…?"

"To get to know each other better!"

"I know you well enough by now," Merlin insisted, this was very strange and confusing. And the frown Arthur was now sporting made Merlin feel sort of bad. "Look, if you don't take Gwen on this picnic, you can just forget about making her your queen."

"Why would you say that?" Arthur asked, still frowning and now with a forwarded, confused brow. Arthur really did know very little about girls, Merlin sighed.

"Because, the kitchen maids will know I was making a picnic basket and if you don't take Gwen someone will tell her and that will lead her into thinking that you don't wish to have her company anymore, therefore lead her into thinking you no longer love her, and therefore loose your chance of marrying her."

"All of that because I don't wish for her to accompany me on one picnic?" Arthur asked, almost looking astonished. Merlin nodded, he might have over exaggerated a little bit, but it could happen.

"Hey, don't expect me to understand a girls mind," he told him. Arthur sighed then.

"Fine, bring her along."

After Merlin cleaned himself of the ash and soot, he started on preparing for the picnic; first, he went to find Gwen, who happened to be doing her own servent duties, (which were much eaiser than Merin's mind you,) in a nobles room.

"Hey Gwen," he said, leaning against the doorframe. She turned around and smiled, seeing him there.

"Oh hello, Merlin," she told him, folding what could be a towel or a pillowcase. "What brings you here?"

"Arthur," he answered simply. He almost rolled his eyes at the way her eyes lit up at his name, it was rather sickening. "He wants to go on a picnic."

"Today?" she asked, looking down at her dress, as if it was not up to par for a outing with the king. Merlin was pretty sure though, that Arthur didn't care what her dress looked like.

"In about an hour, actually," Merlin told her. Her mouth fell open then, and she dropped the thing she had been holding, rushing around him, out of the door.

"I had better go…get ready," she said, in a panic, running a hand through her hair and fiddling with her dress. "I wish I had known before…"

"You look lovely," Merlin tried to calm her a bit; she only smiled a little at this.

"Thank you, Merlin."

And then she was gone, rushing down the hall, Merlin rolled his eyes yet again, letting out a huff of laughter as he watched her go. He headed to the kitchen after that, where he started packing the basket with cheeses and the cold meats Arthur liked so much. One of the kitchen maids, Merida, stopped by next to him and leaned against the counter.

"Hello, Merlin," she smiled, watching him closely. "What are you doing?"

"Packing a basket," he answered, as he threw in a few extra apples for himself. Hopefully Arthur would be too busy fawning over Gwen to notice. Merida leaned over it, her long, curly, red hair getting all in Merlin's way. He pursed his lips, waiting for her to get finished being nosy.

"Who for?" she finally asked, (as if she didn't know,) as she backed up and grinned at him, her freckles all aligned, looking like dirt along her cheekbones and nose.

"The king," Merlin stated then, as her blue eyes lit up, much like Gwen's brown ones had…but in a different way.

"Is he taking you-know-who?" she asked, making kissy lips at him afterward.

"Gwen?" he asked. (As if he didn't know.)"Yes."

"Oh!" she giggled, grabbing his arm. "That's what…the second outing this week they've had?" she bit her lip and squeezed his arm. "They're becoming quite serious!"

"I guess…"

"Oh, it's so romantic!" she said, a bit dramatically. "Before long…they will be married and there will be little princes and princesses running around."

Merlin made a disgusted face at this, "I don't think so…"

"Jealous?" she looked up suddenly and smirked.

"What is that supposed to mean?" he asked, glaring at her. She giggled again.

"All of Camelot knows how you feel about Arthur," she said, sighing. "It must be hard watching him in someone else's arms."

"Unless you're getting some on the side," another servant, Belle, said, who was cutting potatoes at a nearby table. Merlin turned around, to give her a nasty glare. "Lots of king's do it, you know, take a wife but find time for a little…side fun with their favorite little servants."

"Arthur isn't like that!" Merlin argued, finding this conversation hard to stomach suddenly.

"Not yet he's not," Belle told him, grinning, whilst whisking a strand of brown hair form her matching eye. "But you'd never tell us if he was."

"I wonder if he's good in bed," Merida giggled.

"With a body like that, love, I bet he is…"

Merlin decided then, he had to get the hell out of there. He tied up the basket and marched for the door. Leaving a trail of giggles behind him.

He was so flustered it took him extra time trying to find the picnic blankets; he might have forgotten where he had left them once or twice, his mind replaying what the two serving girls had said. Not everyone thought Arthur was like that, did they? If they did, why would Gwen still want to be with him?

Either way, Merlin didn't have enough time to clean the blankets, they were just going to get dirty again anyway, he figured, so what was the point? He headed toward the doors then, where he was supposed to meet Arthur. Arthur was already waiting for him, standing in the doorway, looking out at the sky. Merlin smiled to himself as he approached. How could anyone ever think Arthur would cheat? He was much too loyal, much too noble, in short; he was much too good of a man.

"Merlin," Arthur said then, turning to see him getting nearer. "Took you long enough."

He was also a giant prat.

"Sorry, I was…" Merlin mumbled, not sure what to say, he didn't want to exactly tell Arthur what his kitchen staff thinks of him. "Looking for the blankets."

"Only you could misplace them," Arthur remarked, rolling his eyes. "Did Guinevere agree to come along?"

"Yes, she did," a sweet, female voice said behind them and Arthur spun around, while Merlin just peered over the king's shoulder at Gwen. She had changed dresses and done her hair differently. Girls are so strange, Merlin thought.

"Guinevere," Arthur said, Merlin couldn't see his face, but he bet the prat king was smiling. "You look…lovely."

"Thank you, Arthur," Gwen beamed. Now, Merlin had just told her that less than an hour ago, but somehow it didn't mean the same coming from him. Merlin didn't bother taking offence. "Are we ready to go?"

Arthur looked back to Merlin then and raised an eyebrow. Merlin just nodded in return, holding up the basket.

"It seems we are," Arthur said, turning back to Gwen after. "Shall we go?"

"I think so," Gwen beamed still, taking the kings arm, and then they were off, going on their picnic.

They chose their picnic point just outside of Camelot, at the edge of a river, with water so clear you could see the tiny, yellow fish swimming and the marbled rocks below. Merlin sat, as far away from the couple as he could, still being in ear shot if needed. He had already set up the damn picnic and filled their cups with wine twice, now he was just forced to sit there, watching, but trying not to watch, as Gwen hung on Arthur's arm and giggled at dumb ass things he said.

It seemed a bit stupid now, but Merlin sort of wished Gwen hadn't come along, it was sickening watching them laugh and kiss and be any normal in love humans. It never normally bothered Merlin but today it was, for some reason, it was annoying just sitting there, being ignored. It might be nice at that, to be able to sit and talk with Arthur in a normal way, without worrying about a kingdom or its people, just have a chat about the sky or the moon, perhaps a cow…anything, just like Gwen and Arthur were doing now.

Merlin wasn't stupid enough to get jealous of Gwen, he knew she was the future queen of Camelot, and soon she would be sharing a lot more than just picnics with Arthur. It would be a room and a bed and soon, maybe Arthur wouldn't need him as much, Gwen being a servant once before queen, she might not want Merlin invading her privacy as he did Arthur's now. Merlin could turn Arthur's room inside out and know how to put everything back the right way.

There would be no more just walking in, the curtain would be drawn, and soon Merlin would actually have to knock before coming in. Soon everything will change and it terrified him…

"Merlin." The voice made him jump, ripping him from his musing. He turned to look at them and glared, he didn't mean to, but he was rather annoyed at the moment. It was Gwen who addressed him. "Are you alright?"

"Oh, yeah," he nodded, though, he might be having some sort of attack on his heart. He would have to ask Gaius what this current sick feeling was later. "I'm fine."

"We were wondering if you could get us some water?" she asked, holding up Arthur's waterskin. Merlin nodded, rolling his eyes, they probably just wanted to stick their tongues in each other's mouths again and wanted to get rid of Merlin. This would be how it is after they were married, not wanting Merlin there, wanting to be alone, coming up with dumb things like getting water just to get rid of him.

"Of course I can get you water," he said, an edge in his voice and he didn't care that it was there. "That's why I'm here…to get water." He took it and headed toward the river, going toward the left so he wouldn't be in sight anymore. "Don't mind me; I'll just be here…getting water!"

Once he could no longer see them and he was sure they couldn't see him either, he threw the waterskin into the river aggressively and plopped down on the grass. Whining then, because the damn grass was wet and now his backside was as well. He looked up at the sky and cursed. It wasn't as if he hadn't known all this would happen someday, but somehow then, it didn't seem as close as it did now, it could be any day that Arthur asked Gwen for her hand and as much as he wished for them to get married, he couldn't see Arthur with any other woman, he also rather Arthur just stay the way he was now.

And it annoyed him, him here with his ass all wet while Arthur had his mouth all over Gwen, it was sickening and annoying . They act like children, Merlin thought; they have no business getting married. Had Gwen even seen Arthur shirtless? With a dark chuckle, he thought then, that probably not.

"Merlin!" someone called after a moment, and not just any someone, the prat himself.

"What?" he called back, not bothering to look over at him. For some reason, he didn't want to look over at him, for some reason he knew it would just anger him even more. He could hear the clotpole approaching him.

"Where's the waterskin?" Arthur asked, and Merlin knew he was right next to him now. So Merlin shrugged.

"I dropped it."

"You dropped it?" Arthur repeated, in a question. Merlin still didn't bother looking over.

"I dropped it in the river."

"And you didn't feel like picking it up?"

"I dropped it and it floated away," to prove the point further, Merlin made a motion with his hand. Arthur didn't seem impressed in the slightest.

"That is coming out of your pay!" he told him and Merlin shrugged.

"Fire me instead, might be easier."

"What is wrong with you?"

"My ass is wet and you're an idiot!" Merlin told him, standing up then, finally looking over to glare at Arthur. "If you wish for the waterskin so much, Sire, go in after it!"

"Or, I could fire you…"

"Go ahead!" Merlin told him, heading around him and back toward the horses. "Go ahead, see if I care," he shouted, as he walked away. "See if I care about anything that you do!"

"Merlin!" Arthur called after him, but he didn't stop, he passed by Gwen, who was watching him, looking confused. "Merlin!"

"I'm sorry, Sire," he turned around to glare at Arthur again. To find him right on his tail. "How can I help you, Sire?"

"You could stop with your attitude," Arthur told him. "Before I put you in the stocks!"

"Once more, I must insist that you…see if I care!" Merlin told him, turning to go, but stopped. "You have the face of a toad, Sire, and I cannot see why anyone likes you!"

And with that, he walked away, back to his horse, his battered, old horse. While Gwen got a fresh young one, which she hardly used mind you. He was sickened, just completely sickened.


	2. Chapter 2

Merlin burst through the door of Gaius' chambers, before slamming it behind him. Gaius was so used to Merlin doing this by now that he didn't even bother to look up, Merlin however, was affronted by this. He continued to slam things around as he made his way through the room.

"Ah, Merlin," Gaius finally said, causally looking up from the potion he was brewing. "You are back rather early, usually your picnics take a bit longer."

"Yeah well, I put a damper in their tongue fight!" Merlin remarked, grabbing the bowl of purple grapes from the table and started popping them into his mouth. Gaius looked up yet again and his eyes widened.

"Excuse me?" he asked, eyebrows raised.

"Nevermind," Merlin sighed. He was still annoyed, still very annoyed at even the thought of Gwen and Arthur. But he didn't want to tell Gaius his problem, because he knew he was wrong. He should be happy for Arthur, that he had finally found someone to marry that he could love, opposed to a forced marriage for the kingdom like his father had tried to inflict on him many times before. And he should be happy for Gwen too; she loved Arthur so clearly. He should be thrilled, two of his friends had found each other and were happily in love, but he wasn't, not in the slightest, and that annoyed him.

"Merlin," Gaius said then, and Merlin looked up at him this time, his lips thinned into a line, rolling a grape around in his mouth with his tongue. "Have you spoken to Arthur about Agravaine?"

"No…" he said, around the grape, chewing it finally. "No, I…don't know what to say."

"You must tell him, before it's too late," Gaius insisted. "Before Agaravaine slips Morgana inside Camelot, or worse."

"I know," Merlin sighed. "I just don't want to hurt him…"

"Hurting him is not your intention and Arthur will know this," Gaius said then, taking in a breath. "It is better that he finds out from someone he trusts."

"Maybe I should go talk to him now..." Merlin trailed off, hoping Gaius would say wait until the morning, but alas, the man before him nodded his head. Merlin got up then, swallowing the last of his grapes.

"And apologize for whatever you did on the picnic as well," Gaius told him. "You don't need to spend another evening in the stocks."

Merlin let out a huff of laughter and nodded, heading to the door. As he headed out and through the corridors, toward Arthur's chambers, the fear settled in. He didn't know what to say or how to tell Arthur his uncle was betraying him. Arthur valued his uncle's counsel so much and for him to find out that Agravaine had another agenda, it would break his heart. At least Merlin had an excuse now, as to why he was acting so…rude today, and yes, he would use that.

He reached Arthur's door and knocked, he never knocked, but he had better get used to it. When he got a loud 'come on' from the other side, Merlin opened the door and gingerly walked in, finding Arthur at his desk.

"Sire…" he said, biting his bottom lip and fiddling with his fingers. He stalled by Arthur's bed, stuck in fear and worry that Arthur was (and probably should be,) mad at him for his actions this afternoon.

"What is it, Merlin?" Arthur asked, looking up, letting the quill he had been using to write, drop out of his hand.

"I would like a word."

"Alright," Arthur sat back in his chair, crossing his arms. "What do you have to say?"

"Well um…it's about today," Merlin mumbled. "I'm not sure how to tell you this, but I was upset because, I sort of-"

"Merlin," Arthur said then, sitting back up, looking rather amused. "You don't need to explain, I know."

"No you don't, because…"

"Merlin," Arthur stood then, and walked around the desk, heading toward him. "I understand completely." He stood in front of Merlin now, smirking. "You're jealous of Guinevere."

"I am not!" he protested. Although it wasn't exactly untrue, he wasn't jealous of Gwen, just worried about what her becoming Arthur's wife would change.

"Merlin please," Arthur chuckled. "I've seen the way you look at her lately," he placed a hand on Merlin's shoulder. "The way you acted when you thought she was taking your job after we found you, you looked at her as if you could kill her with your bare hands and we both know you could hardly hurt a fly."

Merlin remembered none of this,but it was probably when he was under Morgana's control, so he just nodded all the same, the quicker he could tell Arthur about his uncle, the better.

"And today," Arthur rolled his eyes fondly, a smile still on his lips. "You're a good friend, so willing to let yourself be hurt for my happiness."

"I wasn't, that's not even-"

"Of course you were," Arthur cut him off. "You're in love with me."

"I'm not in love with you, Arthur," Merlin told him. "You're in love with yourself, now would you please listen to-"

"Why will you not admit you're in love with me?" he asked, cutting him off yet again, trailing his hand from Merlin's shoulder down his front. Merlin found this rather strange, so he backed up. But unfortunately Arthur thought he should follow. He was in Merlin's personal space and looked a tad drunk if you asked him, so Merlin backed up again. But he backed up right into a wall, it was more the corner of a wall actually, right by Arthur's clothes cupboard. Either way, he cracked his head off it and Arthur still followed.

This man was defiantly cursed or just an idiot. Merlin held his hand out, not defensively, he would never hurt Arthur, but just to keep him at bay.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked, eyes narrowing at Arthur. As if he could see the problem just by that action. He might have drunken something his uncle gave him, or worse, could have been cursed by him, if Agravaine took Morgana's side, it could be he also used magic. Though, Merlin really doubted that.

"I only wonder why…" Arthur said, looking Merlin up and down. "Why you never admit it, that you are in love with me."

"Because I'm not, it's not that hard to understand…"

"But you are," he leaned into him, hand pressing against the wall above him. It was clear he wanted all of Merlin's attention and even as Merlin tried to look away, at the space on the floor between the wall and the cupboard, Arthur used his other hand, his free hand, and grabbed Merlin's chin, forcing their eyes to meet. Merlin gulped hard. "Everyone in Camelot can see it; even a blind man can see it."

Merlin glared, "Don't use my own words against me!" he told him, remembering when he had said just that to Arthur, about Gwen. Arthur chuckled. "Stop it; I don't know what the hell is wrong with you!"

"I'm frustrated with you, Merlin," Arthur said then, leaning closer into him. Merlin tried to back up more, as a reflex, but only found wall behind him. "I can see your love for me in everything that you do, yet you deny it, why?"

"Because I…I…" he fumbled with his words, off course by the way Arthur leaned into him. This was not going as planned, and that was even a bit of an understatement.

"But you are attracted to me," Arthur said, it wasn't even a question. As if Arthur was just telling him he was, without giving him an option.

"You're imagining things…"

"Am I?" Arthur asked then, in a silky voice. As his hand, that had been lying at his side, raised and found its way under Merlin's tunic. With wide eyes and a shriek, (that was rather girly,) Merlin buckled forward, attempting to get away from Arthur's touch. But that only managed to make their heads closer together, Merlin took a shaky breath. Their eyes locked again and this time, wasn't forced, and he began to think of things, lots of things. Things like what they could have been doing all alone in these chambers for years, or things like; _'With a body like that, love, he has to be…'_ He flushed then, releasing, one way or another, that he had to get the hell out of there.

"I…" he mumbled, searching Arthur's eyes, to find his lids heavy and pupils dilated on him. He closed his eyes then; he had to, and took a breath. "I think I hear Gaius calling me."

"You don't."

"You're right," he said, opening his eyes again and forcefully pushing Arthur back. "I hear my mother calling me, and she sounds mad, I've got to go!"

"Merlin!" Arthur called after him, but he didn't stop. No way was he going to stop. He hightailed it out of the room and down the hall, once he was around the corner, however, he finally stopped. Leaning against the wall for support, taking in slow, steady breaths.

Soon, he had skidded down, until his backside was on the floor, he put his face in his hands and still felt the flush on his checks.

"What the hell was that?" he asked himself, although the passing guard did look a bit confused, as he went. "Not you, um…sorry!" Merlin called after him, flustered still, his next words were in an undertone, so no one else could hear them. "I didn't even get to say anything about Agravaine…"


	3. Chapter 3

Having finished his chores for the day, the list actually rather short today, Merlin was bored. Walking through the halls toward the council chambers, he knew by this time, the council should be over and Arthur was free to come out and he kind of still had something important to tell him. Now, this wasn't exactly Merlin's idea of curing his boredness, but his first rescue from boredom, Gaius, had sent him to find the king, in demands that he finally tell the clotpole about his uncle's betrayal. It had been weeks since the last time Merlin had tried to tell Arthur this news, and that time hadn't gone as planned. Due to Arthur's drunken state or perhaps enchanted state, Merlin still wasn't sure which. All he knew, is Arthur never mentioned it again, so neither did he.

The council doors were slightly open, and Merlin had gone to walk in when he paused, hearing voices, they belonged to the betrayer himself and the king. Who were in a heated discussion about the current traitor in the kingdom, who just happened to be Agravaine, though, Arthur still didn't know that and it seemed Agravaine was trying his damnedest to keep it that way.

"All I ask is you look into it, Gaius knows sorcerers still to this day," Agravaine was saying. "He admitted to it. He protects them."

"That does not mean he is a traitor, Uncle," Arthur was saying. "Perhaps they are friends and he is helping the man keep his head."

"More of a reason to think he is betraying you, Sire," Agravaine said and Merlin resisted the urge to come out from behind this door and punch him.

"I have known Gaius my whole life," Arthur told him, in a stern voice. "He is loyal to me as he was to my father, I know he would never betray me," Arthur continued, sounding slightly annoyed. "I asked him as well, he did not know the path we took that day."

"Who are the others?"

"The knights we took," Arthur answered. "But every one of those men pedged their lives to me, it isn't them either."

"Was there anyone else?"

"Merlin…"

"Perhaps him then," Agravaine said then, to which Merlin gasped aloud. He covered his mouth to keep quiet, worried he would get caught listening. "He was the only other one who knew."

"Merlin was wounded that day!" Arthur said in return, sounding far more annoyed than he had before. "There is no way Merlin is the traitor!"

"The Lady Morgana was once close with him, was she not?" Agravaine asked. "They had been friends, perhaps she convinced him. What better way to destroy the king but with his own, trustworthy, seemingly foolish mansertvant?"

"Merlin would never…"

"How do you know this for certain?" Agravaine asked, as if he was having fun, his voice light and airy. Merlin stood rooted, waiting for Arthur's answer, biting down on his lip, almost scared to hear it.

"Merlin would never betray me," Arthur answered, sounding almost flustered. But Merlin still sighed in relief. "Merlin isn't capable of…he's just…You don't know him as I do."

"He's played his part well," Agravaine insisted further. " Being at your side, pretending as if he cared for you, all while, sneaking information to Morgana right under your nose," there was a dark chuckle. "What, for all you know, he could be a sorcerer."

There was a long silence then, which scared Merlin slightly, before a loud grinding of a hard chair on the floor.

"You are treading on dangerous grounds, Uncle," Arthur was saying, sounding angry and dangerous all of a sudden. Merlin took in a breath. "I do not want to hear you speaking of Merlin in such a way again, do you understand?"

"Yes, Sire," Agravaine agreed, sounding almost snake like. And then there was another loud scrap of hard chair on cold ground, and then heavy footsteps and before Merlin could run for it, the doors flew open. Agravaine stood there, glaring at Merlin, sinisterly, before stalking away. Arthur, on the other hand, was still inside the room, looking out one of the large windows, at the city below. Merlin walked over, timidly.

"Arthur…"

"Merlin," he replied, but his voice was calm, unlike Merlin thought it would be. Though, his face was scrunched up, with worry lines. Merlin heaved a breath and walked nearer to him. He should tell him, right now, about Agravaine, he should, but his tongue was clearly broken or something, because the words were not coming out.

"Gaius is a good man," he was saying, instead. "He would never betray you, he loves you, and I…"

"I know, you don't have to explain yourself," Arthur said, sweeping his blonde bangs from his eyes, as he turned to smile at Merlin. "It is only my uncles worries, not my own."

"But I don't want you to think…" Merlin trailed off again and Arthur's smile grew, stepping a few steps closer to Merlin, and placing a hand on his shoulder. "I would never…"

"I know," he said, his smile bright and worry free. Merlin smiled in return to this, but fear still wedged in his chest somewhere. Because Arthur seemed to have gotten mad when Agravagaine accused Merlin of being a sorcerer, as if the idea was horrid or something. Now, as far as Merlin knew, the potion that he had given Agavaine had worked and he had forgotten Merlin's little slip on the night of Arthur's coronation. But it did seem, that although Arthur had said once, to Merlin, that he was sure there were good sorcerers out there, he still didn't want one in his kingdom and that posed a slight problem, because, well…Merlin was one.

And even though, Merlin had just basically told Arthur, he would never betray him, he sort of, already was. He never liked to think of it that way, because he only wanted to protect Arthur, but by lying to him and practicing magic behind his back, that's what he was doing, betraying him. A frown formed on Merlin's lips then.

"Let's go back to my chambers," Arthur was telling him, as he let his hand fall from Merlin's shoulder. Merlin nodded, head still buzzing with fears and worries. He reluctantly followed.

Back in the king's chambers, Merlin was silent, just standing there and Arthur chuckled at him.

"As you might have known, I went to visit the shops today with Guinevere."

"Yes, I know you did…" Merlin trailed off. He was trying to get his brain back on track, he didn't need to worry about his own betrayal, be needed to worry about Agravaine's.

"I figured as much," Arthur grinned and headed toward his desk. Merlin figured to sit down, but instead, he pulled something from a drawer. "I bought you something in one of the shops," he said, as he walked back other to Merlin and opened his hand. "I thought of you when I saw it so, I had no choice really."

"I'm not much on courting here, never done it myself," Merlin said then, looking down at the red thing in Arthur's hand. "But I'm pretty sure you don't buy things for your manservant while you're doing it."

"I suppose that is the best thank you I could ever get from you," Arthur remarked and unfolded the fabric. "I thought it would match that purple shirt I got you."

"Why do you keep buying me clothes, Arthur?" Merlin asked then, raising an eyebrow. Arthur glared at this. "Not that I don't like the shirt, I do…"

"You should, I spent a long time picking out the right color for you," Arthur told him, shoving the new, red neckerchief into Merlin's hands. "I only did it because you wear the same damn thing every day and it got rather old. Besides, Guinevere said once, that purple would match with your eyes, I didn't quite understand her at the time, until I found the shirt," Arthur explained, finally taking a seat at his desk, looking at Merlin with his head cocked to the side. "Purple really does suit you, Merlin."

"Um, thanks," Merlin replied, looking down at the red fabric in his hand. "I'll wear this with it tomorrow."

"I will be looking forward to it then," Arthur said and Merlin nodded, a bit confused as to why Arthur would be looking forward to seeing him wear clothing. Maybe because he bought them, Merlin told himself then. He looked up again, to see Arthur still looking at him, he flushed slightly, biting his lip.

"So, um…" he mumbled, not sure what to say. Arthur cracked a smile.

"Perhaps next time I visit the shops, you would like to come with me," he said, leaning back in his chair. "You might have fun."

"But shouldn't you take Gwen?" Merlin asked, not really keen on going shopping, he didn't like it, Gaius had dragged him along enough times, for him to know that. "She's going to be the queen after all."

"She likes looking at very….girly things," Arthur explained then, making a face and prompting Merlin to laugh.

"She is a girl, Sire," he told him and Arthur glared at him.

"That I am aware of, Merlin," he stated and then sighed. "I just rather not stare at flowers quite so often is all."

"Gwen loves flowers," Merlin told him, smiling at the thought of Gwen and how many times he had seen her with flowers.

"Then perhaps she should marry a florist."

"But she doesn't love a florist," Merlin told him, feeling slightly strange about this whole conversation, suddenly. "She loves you."

"I know," Arthur smiled, twirling the quill, that he had just picked up, in his hand, like he would a sword. "Sometimes, it just seems we have very little in common."

"What do you mean?" Merlin asked, to which Arthur shrugged. "You love each other," he shook his head at the feeling that suddenly crept into him, that same feeling he had on the picnic; he didn't like it and tried to ignore it. "What more do you need?"

"There is nothing that I need..." Arthur said then, rather muse-ish and let out a heavy breath. "I just wonder sometimes is all…what exactly she sees in me."

"She sees what everyone sees," Merlin told him. "You're kind heart and your love for your kingdom, your bravery and strength, your chivalry and your….pratness," he grinned, because he couldn't help it. "Which is really hard to love sometimes."

Arthur chuckled then and tossed the quill onto the desk.

"I am rather great, aren't I?" Arthur asked, with a cheekily smile playing on his lips, and Merlin had no choice but to roll his eyes and smile too.

"You're a complete ass though."

Merlin was smiling like an ass himself, as he walked back toward Gaius' chambers. He was still clutching Arthur's gift in his hand and he fully intended to go find that purple shirt he might have thrown in the dirty pile, with the rest of his warn out clothes, and was going to wash it, as soon as possible, so it was ready for tomorrow. He hummed an off tune as he opened the door to Gaius' chambers and walked in, reaching behind his head to undo the knot in his current, over warn, neckerchief. It was rather hard to do one handed, leaving him to do some strange waltz thing into the room, still…while humming.

"What on earth are you doing, boy? Gaius asked, as he turned around from his spot at the counter, where he had been chopping up something.

"Oh….hello, Gaius!" Merlin grinned, still trying to get the knot out of his neckerchief; he found it rather rude that it wouldn't come out. "I'm just trying to get this knot out…" Finally it came out and he let out a laugh. "Nevermind!"

He headed up to his room then, Gaius' eyes on him as he went. He went and stood in front of the mirror he had in his room and threw the old neckerchief onto the floor, tying the new one around his neck. It was a bit thicker than his other ones. It would keep him warmer in the winter, he grinned at the thought, as he went bouncing back down the steps, to show Gaius of course.

"Giaus!" he called, the man dropped the knife he must have been holding, and turned around to look at Merlin with pursed lips.

"What is it?"

"Oh, nothing…notice anything different about me?" he grinned, reaching up to point at the king's gift, but instead, knocked over a tray of ingredients for something Gaius was making. "Opps," he chuckled, looking down at it. "I'll pick that up later."

He walked closer to Gaius then, grinning still.

"Why are you acting like a nervous bird all of a sudden?" Gaius asked. "Waltzing in here, humming…knocking over things?"

"I didn't mean to do that," he told him, meaning the knocking over things. He couldn't help that he was clumsy.

"I've not seen you act this way since…" Gaius froze then, eyes widening. "Who is she now?"

"What?" Merlin asked, grinning even still, but actually confused now. "What do you mean?"

"You've met a girl, is that it?"

"No, I've not met any girl," he shook his head.

"That's also what you said last time… while you acted like a love starved puppy for three days," Gaius informed him. Merlin knew what he was talking about, but he would rather not think about it when he was in a good mood like this.

"I swear, Gaius," Merlin shrugged. "I've not met anyone."

"Fair enough," Gaius rolled his eyes. "Did I not send you off to tell the king about Agaravaine?"

"Uh…oh, um...I might have forgotten."

"Of course," Gaius stated. "What else is new…?"

"We were sort of talking about other things," Merlin told him, guiltily. "He gave me this," Merlin finally pointed to the neckerchief and grinned again. "He said it would look nice with the purple shirt he gave him."

Gaius' eyes widen suddenly then and he pointed at Merlin, "You were with Arthur this whole time?"

"Yeah," Merlin nodded. "Where else would I be?"

"I see…" Gaius said, shaking his head, with a small smile on his lips, as he turned back to his cutting board. "Quite right..."


	4. Chapter 4

"We must tell Arthur about Agravaine, "Gaius explained, as they were sitting and eating their dinner. "Since you seem incapable of doing it on your own, we must do so together."

Merlin didn't really take offence to this, he was having quite a hard time doing it on his own, so if Gaius wanted to help him, well then, that was fine with him.

After they finished eating, they both headed up to Arthur's chambers. Merlin took in a breath and bit his lip as he knocked on the door, which he never normally did, but he figured with Gaius there, he had better pretend he had better manners. Instead of getting a 'come in' or 'come on,' like Merlin normally did when he actually did knock, the door just opened and there stood Arthur, barefoot and in a thin white tunic, almost ready for bed. Merlin looked him over, biting his lip harder.

"Merlin," Arthur said, smiling upon seeing him, and then. "Gaius…is something wrong?"

"No," Merlin said quickly, but then changed his tune. "Yes…"

"Can we come in?" Gaius asked, with a leveled head and voice. "We must speak to you."

"Of course," Arthur moved aside and they walked in, Merlin behind Gaius. Arthur gave Merlin a confused look, to which Merlin frowned at. Arthur seemed a little worried now, as he lead them further into his room. "How can I help you?"

"Well, Sire, we have quite the…"Gaius paused a second, thinking. "Problem on our hands."

"What did you do now?" Arthur turned to Merlin and smirked, but Merlin just shook his head.

"I haven't done anything."

"It's not Merlin, but he was the one who…figured it out."

"I see," Arthur nodded, giving Merlin another look. "What exactly has he figured out?"

"Well, um…I know what happened to me, when I was taken by those bandits," Merlin mumbled, beating around the bush as much as he could.

"Yes, I know, and you escaped from them…by some merical," Arthur told him, looking slightly worried and proud at the same time. Merlin huffed.

"No, that's not what happened to me, that was um…that was planted in my head," he lied slightly, but he and Gaius thought this was the best way to tell this to Arthur, softly "I was actually taken by Morgana."

"Morgana?!"

"Yes, Sire," Gaius intervened. " The memories have just recently started coming back to him."

"Go on..."

"Well um…in the…when I was hung up, in Morgana's hut, I um…I saw someone," Merlin mumbled.

"It was Agravaine, Sire," Gaius put himself in, once more, it was eaiser this way. He was a much better liar than Merlin. "I'm afraid he's working for Morgana."

Arthur's face was blank, "That's impossible."

"I wish it was so, Sire," Gaius said. "But Merlin knows what he saw; they spoke of plans together, plans of taking over Camelot."

Arthur took a step back then, his mouth falling open.

"I'm so sorry, Arthur," Merlin found his voice again. It pained him to see Arthur like this, and it angered him as well, so many people have hurt him. He didn't deserve it. "You do believe me, don't you?"

"Of course I do," Arthur shook his head, looking down at the ground. "You would never lie to me about something like this."

"I wouldn't, no…" Merlin mumbled, his chest tightening. He knew this would happen, he didn't want to see Arthur hurt again.

"I'm sorry you had to find out this way, Arthur," Gaius said and he did sound truly sorry. And Arthur nodded to him, accepting it. "But at least you found out, before it was too late."

"Thank you both, for telling me, I know this could not be easy for you and a risk at that," Arthur told him, the voice of the king in his tone. But Merlin knew how this was breaking him on the inside. He turned away from them then. "You may go."

Gaius did a bow thing, and pulled Merlin toward the door, but he shook his head, taking himself out of Gaius' grasp. Gaius raised an eyebrow in return.

"You go," he said, quietly. "I want to...make sure he's alright."

Gaius smiled then, with a nod, and without another word, walked out. Merlin turned back toward the king then and watched him, he had moved over to the window and was looking out of it now. His back was still turned to Merlin.

"Sire…" he said, just above a whisper and he heard Arthur take in a sharp breath. He moved closer then. "Arthur…"

"Why do they betray me?" he asked, his voice thick and full of sadness. "Why do they hate me so much?"

"They don't hate you," Merlin told him, Arthur turned around then and even in the dark, shadowy light of a dying fire, he could see it. The tears in Arthur's eyes. "They just blame you."

"I don't understand," Arthur shook his head. "I've loved these people, cared for them and yet they so easily turn their backs on me…"

"They take it all out on you, what your father did," Merlin told him. "They hated him and what you to suffer for it. It's nothing you've done."

"Why did he take her side?" Arthur asked then, stepping a few steps closer to Merlin now, anger evident in his eyes. "I am his blood, his kin and he took her side!"

"I don't know…" Merlin said, finding it hard to keep his composer when Arthur was being so open and raw and hurt like this. "I don't understand it either."

"He will pay for this!" Arthur yelled, raising his fist and shaking it. But then it went away in a flash and a broken shell was left in its place, as Merlin stepped forward, an inch more. "He will pay for the pain he has caused…"

Merlin didn't know what to say.

"It'll be alright, Arthur, You've got to believe that," Merlin told him then after a moment, because he felt like he needed to hear it. "Whatever happens...you have so many more people on your side, so many people who love you, Arthur. It'll be alright, you don't need him."

Arthur nodded then, and Merlin felt so overwhelmed with Arthur's emotions that he almost didn't notice as Arthur pulled him in and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close into a hug. He had never hugged Merlin before, Merlin held his breath, shocked.

"Thank you, Merlin," he whispered. And all Merlin could do was nod in return.

Merlin couldn't sleep much in the night, his mind was too busy on Arthur, playing back the hurt in his blue eyes, and it scared him. He never wanted to be cause of that hurt or the anger that was so clearly written in Arthur's features. He cursed his magic, he knew he needed it, that it was the only thing helping to protect Arthur, but he never wished more, that he didn't have it. Some day he would have to tell Arthur, tell him of his own betrayal and he just didn't think he could take it if Arthur gave him that look. The look of total betrayal.

When the sun finally rose Merlin got up and dressed, forgetting to wear the purple shirt and the new neckerchief the king had given him the day before. He hadn't remembered to wash the shirt anyway. He just put on some of his old, battered clothes and headed out. The king wasn't in his chambers, he was already in the throne room, ready to give his sentence to Agravaine. Merlin met Gwen outside the doors.

"What is the matter with Arthur?" she asked, Merlin shook his head. He didn't want to say, because clearly, Arthur hadn't told Gwen yet. "He seems so upset."

Just then, shouts were heard down the hall and Merlin took a breath, looking around Gwen to see Agravaine being dragged in by two guards, Leon behind them. He gave a sad smile to Merlin as they passed and the doors flew open. Merlin looked in and Arthur sat on the throne, this was only the second time Merlin had seen him sitting there, he bit his lip.

"This is an outrage!" Agravaine was yelling, trying to get free. "What is the meaning of this?"

Merlin and Gwen gave each other a look, and both slipped inside the room, before the doors were shut. They were shut with a bang behind them that made Merlin jump slightly as he (poorly) hide himself behind a pillar, watching.

Arthur stood up slowly, head held high, the vision of a proper king, but the hurt still evident in his eyes. He took a step forward, as Agravaine was forced to his knees, by one of the guards.

"Sire…Arthur…" Agravaine said, sounding confused. He would probably try to talk his way out of it, but Arthur wouldn't fall for it, Merlin knew he believed him and would still believe him even if Agravaine made up the best lie of his life. And Merlin didn't doubt that he would try. "What is going on here?"

" Some time ago," every noise in the room died away, as soon as Arthur started to speak. "It came to my attention that there was a traitor in our midst. I would have never dreamed that it was you, Uncle…"

Gwen made a little gasp, behind the other pillar, on the other side of the door.

"Me?" Agravaine asked, sounding outraged. "I beg your pardon? Why on earth would I ever go against you, my lord? You are my family…my blood."

"You have played your part well, Uncle," Arthur said, a hint of cheek in his voice. Merlin smirked to himself, at Arthur using his uncle's words against him. "You had us all fooled."

"May I ask, who told you such lies?" Agravaine asked then. "Who belittled my name so much to make you think that I, who only wishes to help you, my lord, rise to the king we all know you could be, would do this, who was this traitor?"

"It was Merlin, my servant," Arthur said, ignoring Agravaine's pretty words and getting to the point. Merlin sunk behind the pillar further. "It seems he saw you in Morgana's presence, speaking of plans to take Camelot."

"That is a lie!" Agravaine shouted, not sounding so poised or smooth tongued anymore. "Your servant is a menace, too blindly stupid to see the end of his nose!"

"We are not here to speak of Merlin's intelligence!" Arthur reminded him, voice raised. "We are here to speak of your lies and your betrayal!"

"The boy was clearly lying," Agravaine shook his head. "Lying because he is the traitor, lying to save his own skin." Agravaine made to stand up, but the guard held him down. "You will take the word of a lowly sertvant over mine?"

"You will not belittle servants in my kingdom," Arthur told him. "Everyone in this room knows Merlin and trusts him," Arthur looked to Leon. "Sir Leon, do you trust Merlin?"

"Yes, Sire!" Leon nodded. "With my life!"

"And there you are," Arthur turned back to Agravaine. "At least admit what you have done, admit you betrayed your family and your king."

"I have done nothing wrong!"

"Then you will die knowing the truth," Arthur retorted, looking over his uncles form, at something near Merlin's head, he took a breath then. "I sentence you, Agravaine, with treason, punishable by death."

"You are wrong….you will regret what you've done!" Agravaine said, trying to fight out of his hold again. But Arthur turned away then, looking at his throne.

"Take him away…"

Agravaine was taken from the room, by the guards who were followed by a somber Leon. Gwen come out from behind her pillar then and approached Arthur, beating Merlin to it. He watched still, as she reached out and touched the king's shoulder, and they slumped. He turned around then and took her hand, bringing it to his lips. Merlin felt that same feeling he had been feeling lately and wondered if it would ever go away. Probably not, he thought quickly, and then busied himself with other thoughts, like Arthur's sad face. Gwen whispered things to him, probably the same things Merlin had told him, the night before.

Gwen tucked her arm around Arthur's and started to pull him, from the room, her lips still moving, as he nodded with a frown. They left like that, leaving Merlin all alone in the throne room, he wanted to follow. He wanted to talk to Arthur too, after all that, it was Merlin's fault this had all happened, he was the one who knew about Agravaine, the least he could do was talk to Arthur afterword. But it seemed Gwen had different ideas. Because even as Merlin walked out of the throne room and looked around, they were gone. They had probably gone back to his chambers, he told himself and he went to follow, but stopped. If he went now Gwen might feel like he was stepping on her toes, besides, she was going to be Arthur's wife, if anyone could sooth Arthur at a time like this, it should be Gwen.

But it was Merlin who comforted Arthur last night, and it was Merlin there for him after the prince had found out about his half sister and her betrayal. It was also Merlin who sat outside that door all night long, when Arthur's father had died, where was Gwen then? Merlin growled, walking down the hall, the opposite way from Arthur's chambers. Merlin didn't like Uther either, Uther was the reason Merlin had to hide who he was from Arthur, he's the reason he never knew his father and why his father was dead, the same as Gwen's father was dead. But Merlin had been there, for Arthur, where was Gwen?

Merlin remembered, as he sat down on the floor, by a long window in an empty corridor. Gwen often said, that she was doing it for Arthur, taking care of his sick father, she was doing it for Arthur. Well, Merlin did everything for Arthur and he didn't go around gloating, he couldn't gloat, or else he would be put in the cell next to Agravaine for sure.

So why shouldn't Merlin be the one who gets to comfort Arthur after he sentenced his uncle? Simple...because he was not going to be his queen.

"Having a pity party?" someone asked from Merlin's left and he jumped, looking over to see Gwaine there, he glared up at him.

"No, I was thinking," he said, scooting over so Gwaine could sit down too. Which he did so.

"What were you thinking about, mate?" Gwaine asked, his armor clinking as he wiggled in his spot. "Not a very comfortable place to think…"

Merlin grinned, "Just about things…"

"Arthur?"

"No…"

"Right," Gwaine replied and swung an arm around Merlin's shoulders, but not before hitting him in the head with his armor-clad forearm. "Why do you and the princess do this dance so often, eh?"

"What do you mean?"

"It's obvouis, alright?" Gwaine said and shook his head. "Why don't you just admit it to each other and get on with it?"

"Get on with what?"

"Oi mate," Gwaine shook his head. "Stop the sheared, you're in love with him!"

"Oh no!" Merlin moaned, shaking his own head. "Not you too, why does Arthur tell everybody everything?"

"Arthur hasn't told me anything," Gwaine told him. "It doesn't take a genius to see how you feel."

"I don't feel anything, I just want-"

"Come on, Merlin!" Gwaine shook his head again. "You can't expect me to believe that, I've seen how you care for him, you want me to believe you're just doing your job then?"

"Well, we're friends..." Merlin shrugged, biting down on his lip.

"It seems like more than friendship to me,"Gwaine told him, patting him on the shoulder with his free hand. "You know, I think you're good for him at that," Gwaine said then, with a smile. "You keep him from acting like too big of a princess most of the time."

"I really don't-"

But Merlin was cut off by a loud, bellowing, "MERLIN!"

"You're beloved is calling, better go see what he wants."


	5. Chapter 5

Arthur wanted to get out of Camelot for a day, and who was Merlin to deny him after the betrayal of his uncle? So even though Merlin hated hunting, he wouldn't say a word. He just packed up the things they would need and headed to the courtyard. It was before the sunrise as Merlin walked through the main doors and looked around, it was even hot this early in the morning, Merlin sighed, but he wouldn't complain, not today…or not until he got too uncomfortable anyway.

The horses were already ready, standing with a stable boy, that was yawing something terrible. Merlin walked over and patted the boy on his back, he was young and Merlin might not know his name, but he seemed alright.

"Go head," Merlin told him, in an undertone. The boy nodded and stumbled off, probably half asleep, no one was awake at this hour. It took several more minutes for Arthur to show up, and when he did he was carrying his own bag of stuff, Merlin was confused. "What's in there?"

"Some…things," Arthur replied, not bothering to look over at Merlin, as he attached the 'some…things' onto his own horse and mounted him. Merlin followed suit, and got on his horse as well, within moments, they were off.

It got lighter and lighter, getting closer and closer to sunrise, as they headed through the woods. Merlin just really hoped this hunting trip went better than the last one, he hoped no baby dragon's showed up or the random mud puddle. It was just at this point, that Arthur veered off and went down a slop, one of which….they never went down, any time they were hunting.

"Where are you going?" Merlin called after him and got no reply back; he rolled his eyes then and forced the horse to follow. Even she didn't want to go down the damn slop, the slop only led to a stream, maybe Arthur wanted to fill up their waterskins. As they finally reached the stream, Merlin watched as Arthur got off his horse and proceeded to a treed area, where he stood and looked around.

"I think here will be the spot," Arthur commented, hands on his hips, as he looked around. "Yes, this will do nicely," Merlin was confused at this point and only watched as Arthur headed back toward him, he gave him a small smirk then. "Well, get off your horse, Merlin."

"What are we doing here?" Merlin asked, as he followed orders and got off his horse, tying her and Arthur's horse to a tree, so they couldn't run off. He watched as Arthur took the bag from his horse, and headed back down to the trees. "Arthur, what is going on?"

"Why do you ask so many questions?" Arthur asked, frowning. "Get over here!"

With pursed lips and the lack of better judgment, Merlin walked over, and like Arthur, looked around at the stream and tree-y area. It looked like a cove of trees, the way the trees covered the area of grass and shore, thick, green moss hung from the tree branches and covered up all the holes between them. Merlin was sure there were spiders in there. There were also quite a few summer flowers laying all around and Merlin worried about bees.

"Forgive me, Sire, I hate to ask another question, but…actually, no I don't," Merlin stated. "Why are we here?"

"How else was I going to get you on a picnic without Guinevere?" Arthur asked, with a full smirk, leaning down to untie his bag, to then, pull out a green apple. (Which were Merlin's favorite, mind you.)

"A picnic?" Merlin was outraged. "You woke me up this early for a picnic?"

"Yes," Arthur smiled in return, unloading the rest of the stuff in the pack. "Now sit down, because you are going to enjoy yourself or I'll kill you." Merlin grumbled and threw himself under one of the trees, glaring daggers at Arthur. "I thought we could watch the sunrise."

"I've seen it before," Merlin mumbled, completely annoyed that he was hoodwinked into a picnic. A damn picnic! "Why are you so insistent on going on a picnic without Gwen?"

"I don't need to do everything with Guinevere, you know," Arthur told him, walking over to him and sitting down, he threw an apple into his unwanting, folded arms. "The sun comes up right over there, this will be a perfect spot to see it," Arthur told him further, pointing to the oranges and red in the sky, Merlin wanted to comment that he wasn't an idiot and he knew which way the sun would rise, but kept quiet anyway. "Eat your apple."

"I'm not hungry!" Merlin retorted, setting the apple down next his leg. "I'm angry, why didn't you just tell me you wanted to go on a picnic?"

"Because you would have forced me to take Guinevere along," Arthur told him, shrugging as he looked out at the stream a few inches away.

"Forgive me, I thought you loved her," Merlin grumbled. "And how the hell did you get all this food anyway?"

"I snuck into the kitchens," Arthur told him, looking his way, with a playful smirk. "No one was there."

"The cook will probably blame me for the missing food," Merlin gumbled, yet again. "She hates me."

"No she doesn't," Arthur told him, chuckling a little. "No one hates you, I'm not sure they can..."

"I bet Agravaine hates me," Merlin frowned, looking over at Arthur now, too.

"I suppose, perhaps him," Arthur replied, letting out a sigh. "I am sure he hates me too."

"No, he doesn't hate you…" Merlin trailed off. "He's just a snake; Morgana probably offered him some better position than you did."

"Better than the king's advisor?"

"I don't know, Arthur, she would offer the world if it got her what she wanted," Merlin said, but smiled at him then. "But he doesn't hate you; it's too hard to hate you. Trust me, I've tried."

Arthur smiled then too, almost sheepishly, as he looked down, at the many plates he had lied out on the grass. He leaned over then and picked something up.

"Here, eat this," he told him, as he shoved something into his mouth. Unexpecting it, Merlin chocked, as the juices hit him in the throat.

"What was that for?" he barked, around what he now knew was a strawberry. He heaved another chock and glared at the king.

"You are the most unattractive person I have ever met," Arthur stated, in return and Merlin glared.

"Thanks."

"No, I mean it…" Arthur trailed off, with a grin, and Merlin's glare deepened.

"Again….thanks." Arthur laughed then, and grabbed another strawberry, bringing it to Merlin's lips. He glared even deeper. (If that was possible.) "I can feed myself, thank you!" He took the strawberry from Arthur's hand and shoved it into his own mouth, proving the point. "If you wanted to feed someone you should have brought Gwen….or a baby!"

"I'm tired of having to please everyone all the time," Arthur explained, sitting back, into the trees, with a sigh. "Everyone wants something from me."

"Not everyone, some of us just want to get out of the heat…" Merlin muttered, fanning himself, he sighed in annoyance, the sun wasn't even up all the way and he was already sweating.

"I'm serious," Arthur told him. "Everyone wants something," he took a deep, stressed breath and ran a hand through his blonde hair. "Camelot wants a king, Morgana wants me dead, Guinevere wants my hand, with all this pressure…perhaps I just want to be normal for a moment."

"You'll never be normal," Merlin told him, and when he got a glare from the king, he just smiled. "You're not meant to be."

"Perhaps not," Arthur mused. "I just wish they would stop wanting things so often. Everyone wants something, except you, maybe…" Arthur paused for a bit, biting his lip. "What do you want from me, Merlin?"

"Me?" Merlin huffed, thinking it over for a second or two. "I just want you to be happy."

"That's it?" Arthur asked then, sitting up, and turning toward Merlin slightly. "That's all you wish from me? For me to be happy?"

"I guess," Merlin shrugged. "It's what all friends want, for their friends to be happy."

"You are a good friend, Merlin," Arthur told him, smiling fondly at him. "Possibly the best I've ever had."

"You should remember that when you're yelling at me about your chambers being dirty," Merlin replied, smirking a little. Arthur laughed and reached behind him, coming back with another strawberry.

"Alright, open your mouth," Arthur told him, still smiling, but dirtily now, as he brought the strawberry to Merlin's lip

"No!" Merlin yelped, trying to get away, but Arthur grabbed his shoulder, forcing him forward. "I don't…" he closed his mouth tight and struggled to get away. He had made a break for it, trying to stand up, before he was forced to eat the strawberry, yet somehow, Arthur still managed to grab him around the middle and drag him back down. It was a bit of a blur, how Merlin wound up on his back, with Arthur straddling his legs on either side of him. "Arthur…"

"Open your mouth, Merlin!" he demanded, grabbing on to Merlin's shoulder hard, pressing his thumb into Merlin's collarbone. Merlin looked up and glared, slowly opening his mouth. It was useless, really, trying to fight. Arthur smirked then and brought the fruit to his servant's lips. Merlin bit into it, keeping his eyes on Arthur the whole time, as the juices from the strawberry seeped into his mouth, along with down his chin. One strand even ran down his neck, getting stuck in his neckerchief. He tried to wipe it away but Arthur stopped him, grabbing his hands and pinning them above his head.

Merlin raised his eyebrows at Arthur, in question and Arthur only continually smirked, licking his lips as he leaned down, slowly. Merlin's belly did flops, actual flops, as Arthur's lips landed on his neck, tongue sweeping out to lick the bead of juice away. Merlin gasped, loudly, making Arthur pull back and look at him. Heat was pooling in Merlin's body suddenly, and he didn't know if it was sheer confusion or if he was really just turned on over this, and it might have been both. He wasn't sure. Either way, the king's eyes met with his and all of the breath he was holding in left his lungs.

"Arthur…" he whispered, because he was confused and wanting for Arthur to do something else, more than he had ever wanted anything, ever. A farless demanding, more graceful smile played across the king's lips then, as he took the hand that had been holding the strawberry and flicked it away, letting his (still damp,) fingers run across the skin of Merlin's cheekbone, before leaning down again. Merlin's heart raced, and he leaned forward, as much as he could, because his arms were still currently being pinned. Fears ran through his mind, he tried to ignore them; this was stupid, they said, what the hell are you doing right now? They yelled at him. He's in love with Gwen! That one was the loudest, but he ignored them all, as Arthur's lips touched his.

But it was not meant to be,(Merlin had known it wasn't,) because, just as their lips touched and those fuzzy things, that were kind of nice feeling but also scary as hell, started running through his blood, did a loud chiming pull them apart.

"What the hell is that?" Arthur asked, on high alert, getting up on his knees. "It's the warning bells…" He looked back down at Merlin then and his eyes widened. "Agravaine!"


	6. Chapter 6

The travel back to Camelot was a quick one, full of rushing and confusion, on Merlin's part, because what the hell was even happening back there? A part of Merlin was happy the warning bells went off when they did, it was stupid of him to allow that to happen. Clearly Arthur was feeling venerable because of his uncle and the pressures of being king, also his always state of prat-like-ness, because well...he's Arthur. But he is meant to marry Gwen, she would give him heirs and be his queen, Merlin could do none of that, so kissing in the woods was the worst idea possible, it would only lead to Merlin being hurt in the end.

But there was also that part of Merlin that wished the warning bells hadn't gone off, because kissing Arthur did seem rather nice at the moment, he could still feel the ghost of his lips pressing against Merlin's and suddenly Merlin was longing to feel it again. He blamed Gwaine and Arthur for this, for putting the thoughts into his head. But mostly he blamed himself, because he was an idiot, (just like Arthur had always said he was,) because he should have seen it before.

When they finally reached Camelot, it was Arthur that jumped off his horse and ran inside, while Merlin stayed outside, waiting for a stable boy to come by. Just his luck the same one from that morning was passing and Merlin called him over, handing him the rains. He ran inside then too, he had to find out what was going on. He found Percival and Gwaine in the hall.

"What happened?" he asked, they both looked over at him and Percival shook his head.

"Agravaine's gone," Gwaine sighed, running a hand over his facial hair. "We've looked everywhere in the kingdom, he's just gone, he must've had help."

"Morgana!" Merlin shouted then, and shot around them. If Morgana was anywhere near Camelot, he had to find Arthur quickly; it was unsafe for him to be on his own. And he did so find Arthur, in the council chambers were there was, more or less, hell breaking loose. Gaius, Gwen and Leon, along with a few other advisors were all standing around Arthur, as he shouted things.

"Send out a search party!" he was yelling at Leon, and then turning to Gwen, who looked rather upset. "It will be alright..."

"I know," she told him and placed a hand on his chest, lovingly, making Merlin feel even more stupid for what happened in the woods than before. It was Gaius, Arthur and then Gwen who noticed him there, watching, Arthur adverted his eyes right away, looking back at Gwen and Merlin tried not to feel even more stupid, as Gaius walked forward, grabbing his arm, and pulling him from the room.

"I think it was Morgana," Gaius whispered to him, as they walked down the corridor to a window, where the sun had since risen high in the sky and was shining on them.

"It has to be," Merlin replied, quietly. "How else would he have completely disappeared?"

"They search in vain," Gaius stated, shaking his head, wary. "He is probably already in hiding by now."

"Do you think he's at Morgana's hut?" Merlin asked, he could lead a search party right to it, if he had to.

"No," Gaius sighed. "He wouldn't chance leading them there."

Merlin was still standing by the window, long after Gaius had left; to go do….something in his chambers, Merlin's mind was racing too fast to quite remember exactly what. He wondered where Agravaine had gone and how long until Morgana would act, surely she would do something, now that her traitor had been caught.

He heard a small coo then, from behind and turned around, to see Gwen there, she frowned and shrugged her shoulders.

"He kicked me out," she frowned further, probably annoyed about this, but Merlin understood. "I was only trying to help."

"Don't take offence, he's just upset and needs time to calm down, that's all," Merlin reassured her. "If I took offence everytime he kicked me out I would have quit by now."

"If he means to make me queen, he could have at least pretended to listen to my counsel," she complained more and sighed. "Who am I kidding? He will never make me queen, if he hasn't asked me yet…he will never ask me."

Merlin didn't know what to say to this, and didn't feel it was very proper to be giving her Arthur based relationship advice when he had just tried to kiss her future husband, (or maybe her future husband tried to kiss him, he wasn't sure,) and, not to mention the fact that Merlin's last relationship lasted three days and then she died…he didn't quite think he was really qualified to be giving any advice...at all.

"How did you two know about Agravaine anyway?" she asked then and Merlin's eyes suddenly went wide. "I thought you were off hunting?"

"Uh…" Merlin mumbled. "Arthur wanted to…I mean, he wanted to eat breakfast before he started hunting and we just happened to hear the warning bells and turned back."

Gwen nodded and Merlin took a breath, he didn't like this at all. And really, he should be a better liar than this by now, with keeping his secret about magic and everything else that had happened since Arthur was king, he should be much better at this. But suddenly, his mind was jolted from his thoughts by a ragging yell, that was going through the halls.

"MERLIN!" it was Arthur, who else would call him like that? Gwen and Merlin looked at each other for a second and they both hurried forward, at the same time, heading toward the yells. They found the king, red faced and very annoyed looking just seconds later, he grabbed Merlin by the shirt and dragged him closer.

"Where the hell have you been?" he seethed and Merlin had never seen him like this. Well once, and that time he tried to kill his father so, this was not looking very good. "We are going out to look for Agravaine, ready the horses!"

"Arthur…" Gwen tried to butt in and he looked over at her, eyes softening for a second before re-hardening again. "Be careful…please."

"I will," he told her, roughly and she hummed, stepping back. She had never, ever seen him like this, surely, if Merlin hadn't. "Hurry up, Merlin!" he barked and stomped off, only getting a few steps away before adding. "Now!"

Merlin staggered forward, in no way at all ready to see the consequences if he didn't, but was stopped by another peep from Gwen. He rolled his eyes; he didn't feel like being murdered by Arthur for sitting around and chatting.

"Merlin…" she trailed off and he looked back. "Take care of him…"

Merlin fully turned around then and smiled at her, "I will always take care of Arthur."

She nodded, with a small smile in return and Merlin ran off after that, heading toward the stables, he didn't even bother to tell Gaius he was leaving, he hadn't had the time.

But even though they searched, into the dead of night, there was no sign of Agravaine, it was hopeless. Merlin had never seen Arthur so upset before, or so angry. He was the king; he knew more than anyone the severity of this problem, of a traitor so close to the king. Agravaine knew Camelot, had spent time with its people, known its strengths and weaknesses, knew how to attack and when to. All of this knowledge was in Morgana's hands now, and that Merlin believed, is what scared Arthur more than anything did. He hardly said two words to Merlin the rest of the night, as he got in his bed and rolled over, looking at the cracks in the curtain, where the moon shined in.

Thoughts of that morning, when even then, things seemed easier, and that almost kiss were far-gone in Merlin's mind, well, almost far-gone. They were until he lay in his own bed, looking at the cracks in his own curtain, at the moon shining in, that was when the longing had come back.

In the morning, he dressed and headed out, without a word to Gaius or anyone else, as he headed to the king's chambers, with a tray of breakfast. He was still sleeping upon Merlin's entry and he felt terrible having to wake him. Merlin set the tray of food down and walked over to the bed, looking down at the king to see the lines of worry written on his handsome face even in sleep.

Merlin bit his lip at this and took a breath, reaching out to shake the king awake, he shook his shoulder once, twice…three times and Arthur whined, rolling away from him, to further bury his bare shoulder under the blankets.

"Arthur…" Merlin trailed off and poked him in the back, repeatedly.

"It is much too early, Merlin," Arthur said then, in a grumbly voice. "I suggest you remove your finger from my ribs or suffer the consequences."

"Come on now, you've got to get up!" Merlin told him, poking him once more in the back, backing up before Arthur tried to kill him or make him 'suffer the consequences.' Arthur whined and rolled over onto his back, rubbing his face with his hands as he dragged himself up, into a sitting position.

"get my clothes," he told Merlin, face fixed in a scowl already, it was going to be that kind of day, and would probably be that kind of day for quite awhile until his uncle was found, or worse...attacked Camelot.

"I brought you breakfast" Merlin tried, gently, as he walked over to Arthur's clothes cupboard and started picking through his clothes.

"I'm not hungry," Arthur retorted. Merlin could hear him up now, doing something, probably at his desk. Merlin looked over his shoulder and, indeed, he was right, that is exactly where Arthur was. He sighed then and pulled a red tunic out for Arthur to wear, he walked back over, and threw it at him, trying to get a rise out of him, all in good fun of course. But Arthur only glared.

A knock on the door had Arthur glaring even more, just seconds later.

"Come in!" he growled, scowling at the door like it had offended him. Leon walked in, bowing slightly to the king.

"There is still no sign of him, Sire," he said, gravely and Arthur nodded, letting out a sigh. "We searched all night and there is nothing, I'm sorry, my lord."


	7. Chapter 7

It had been weeks and there was no sign of Agravaine even still, though the search parties had stopped at this point, there was no reason in searching anymore. Even though Arthur was still upset, he managed to go back to normal, even still that meant being a giant prat.

It was training time again, Arthur had to change a few things and better train a few men, just in case Morgana and Agravaine attack, they had a few surprises coming their way. Merlin had somehow weaseled out of furthering his defense training and was now skirting through the halls, he had just left Arthur's chambers, where he left a bath waiting for him, and was now heading back to Gaius' chambers, to hide further, just in case Arthur was coming to look for him, to demand he finish those seven drills. He rounded the corner to Gaius' chambers and almost ran for it, upon seeing a blur of silver and red, he thought it was Arthur, but it wasn't.

"Merlin!" Gwaine called after him, and he doubled back, sighing in relief, there was no way he was doing anymore training.

"Gwaine!" he said, once he was close enough, Gwaine leaned against the wall, right by Gaius' door. "What are you doing?"

"I was injured in training and wanted Gaius to look at it," Gwaine explained, pulling up his sleeve to show Merlin the rather large and deep gash on it. "But Gaius' isn't here."

"No, he's in town," Merlin told him, going to open the door, allowing Gwaine to enter first. "I can look at it for you though, basic wounds I can handle."

"I might be missing a toe as well," Gwaine smirked, as he walked over to the table, where he started looking at something in a bowl. "What is this?"

"If it's your toe I don't want to see!" Merlin told him, turning his back on him as he went through Gaius' supply cupboard. He pulled out the treated water and wrappings. "Alright, sit down," he told Gwaine, but he was too busy eating an apple now. They were Gwaine's favorite too, Merlin had learned that the hard way. "Where did you get the apple?"

"In this bowl," Gwaine pointed to a bowl full of apples, that had once, clearly, been neatly stacked in a tower, but had sense been knocked over by Gwaine. "I think they're for you."

"Me?" Merlin asked, pulling a confused face, as he walked over and set the supplies down on the table. He looked over the bowl of apples as if the answer of who they belonged to would jump out at him. "They must be Gaius'."

"Could be, "Gwaine told him, picking up a piece of parchment and opening it. "'For my big eared idiot,' that doesn't really fit Gaius' description to me, mate, must be for you."

Merlin shook his head, "But who would spend me a bowl of apples?"

"The same idiot who tried to take off my left arm because he thinks my kettle burns for you," Gwaine said, taking a bite of his apple with a loud crunch and pulling a rather pleased with himself face, as he sat down.

"Wait…what?" Merlin asked then, even more confused than before, he sat down on the other side of the table, with a huff.

"The princess!" Gwaine shouted, throwing the piece of parchment at him. It landed on Merlin's knee and he picked it up, opening it to see that yes, it was indeed Arthur's handwriting and it was even signed with his name at the end.

"But why would he send me apples?"

"Oi," Gwaine shook his head. "He can't very well send a bloke flowers, can he?"

"Why would he send flowers?" Merlin demanded, giving up on trying to understand this anymore. "And why does he think your kettle burns for me, what does that even mean?!"

"He thinks I fancy you, I told him I don't, you're just my mate," Gwaine shrugged, with a smirk. "He doesn't trust me I guess, thinks I'm going to scoop you up," Gwaine chuckled, finishing off the last of his apple. "But you're not really my type."

"I thought anyone was your type?" Merlin remarked, grinning, remembering Gwaine saying that very thing not too long ago. "Maybe I should be offended."

"Nah, don't bother," Gwaine told him, leaning across the table to pat his shoulder with the hand that belonged to his injured arm. "We're too good of friends; I wouldn't want to mess that up."

"I wouldn't want to either," Merlin smiled at him, before it downed on him just exactly what they were talking about. "Arthur thinks you fancy me?!"

"Of course he does," Gwaine said, seeming proud about this. "Even warned me to stay away from you, he's a greedy bastard, wants it all for himself."

"Wants what exactly?"

"You," Gwaine answered, girnning something mad, as he looked over at Merlin with a knowing look in his eye. Merlin's mouth must have fallen open, because Gwaine started laughing, but he didn't notice because he was too busy over heating at the thought.

"No," Merlin shook his head. "He loves Gwen."

"Sure he loves Gwen," Gwaine shrugged. "But that doesn't mean he doesn't want you too."

"He isn't like that."

"I'm thinking he is."

But before Merlin could rebuttal and say that no, Arthur was not like that, the door to the room opened and in walked Gaius. He scanned the scene and shook his head.

"What is going on here?" he asked, rushing over to take over what Merlin was so clearly not doing. Merlin got up and let Gaius handle Gwaine's wound, as he fiddled around the kitchen area, still stuck on Gwaine's words. Why would Arthur want him? That didn't make any sense.

Merlin left soon after that, heading up to the king's chambers, to…check on him. To be truthful, Merlin had no real reason to go up there yet, he knew the king would be bathing, that's what he always did after training. Perhaps Merlin just wanted to find out if it was true, did Arthur really want him? Gwaine could be wrong, he was wrong a lot, he was Gwaine. Though, in the time Merlin had known Gwaine, he had never been wrong once…and that was unfortunate for Merlin.

He walked right in, not knocking, even though he probably should have. He noticed the tub was still empty, and then he heard rustling behind the screen Arthur sometimes changed behind. He bit his lip.

"Merlin?" Arthur asked, from behind it.

"Yeah, it's me," Merlin called back. "Who else would it be?"

"Guinevere had shown up a few times before, so I like to make sure these days."

Merlin laughed, but he sort of wondered why exactly Gwen was sneaking in when Arthur was changing and why did it bother Arthur? If they were to be married…she would see him naked at some point, that's what marriage is for, to look at each other naked without feeling strange about it.

"What are you doing here, Merlin?" Arthur asked then. "I thought you were hiding from me so you didn't have to train?"

"Is that what you thought I was doing?" Merlin scoffed. "I was uh…busy helping Gaius."

"I saw Gaius on my way to my Chambers," Arthur caught him in his lie. "He told me you were hiding."

"Gaius needs to keep his mouth shut."

"Or perhaps you should take your safety more seriously," Arthur said, coming out from behind the screen then, wooly towel wrapped around his waist. Merlin huffed, averting his eyes to the wall, it was a lovely wall. "I don't want you getting hurt like that again, Merlin!" Merlin couldn't help it, but to look back over at the king, and flushed. "I don't want to lose you again."

"You won't," Merlin told him, and he felt this was a rather strange conversation to be having while Arthur was naked. It then it hit him that Arthur was NAKED and he averted his eyes again. He heared the splash of water and knew Arthur had gotten in the tub, but yet still, couldn't bear to look anywhere else but that patch of wall, just above Arthur's changing screen.

"Merlin," Arthur said then. "What are you looking at?"

"The wall…"

"I can see that…" Arthur trailed off, sounding amused. "But why?"

"I um…" Merlin mumbled. "I just…I don't know."

"Merlin," Arthur said then, sounding both patronizing and amused. "Turn around."

"I'd rather not…"

"Merlin…"

"Oh, look at that, Gaius is calling me; I had better go see what he wants!" Merlin said then, not turning around once as he headed toward the door. He heard Arthur laughing then.

"Are you honestly using that excuse again?"

"Excuse?" Merlin paused, still not turning around, but now facing the wall Arthur had pressed him against once. He felt the back of his ears growing hot. "What excuse?"

"Everytime I make you uncomfortable, instead of dealing with it, like a man, you make an excuse that someone is calling you," Arthur explained. "I find it rather pathetic."

"I'm not uncomfortable," Merlin said and turned around to prove the point, but he wished he hadn't. Because Arthur's hair was damp and chest was all-glistening, Merlin felt very overwhelmed suddenly.

"Not at all, hm?" Arthur asked, sliding, in the tub, closer to where Merlin stood. "Then, it would not make you uncomfortable if I demanded that you take your clothes off and get in this tub with me?"

"Why uh…why would that bother me?" Merlin asked, trying to remain conscious, because he felt sort of light headed.

"You tell me," Arthur smirked.

"Well it doesn't!"

"Then do it!"

"I'd rather not…"

"And why not?

"I'd like to but..." Merlin trailed off, biting his lip. "My-"

"Your mother is calling you?" Arthur smirked, and reluctantly Merlin nodded. "And she sounds angry?"

"Very…"

"That's what I thought."


	8. Chapter 8

Merlin walked into the room, rolling his eyes at Arthur, who sat at the head of the feasting table. Gwen sat to his left, petting his hand as she talked, Merlin could careless about what. Now, Merlin was not bitter about the fact that Gwen was Arthur's 'special guest' at feasts these days, but it did slightly annoy him that he still had to run around and refill wine glasses while Gwen got to sit there and pick at the food, that food was good, way better than anything a servant got, it deserved to be eaten with haste, not picked at. Not to mention everyone seemed to like Gwen. Even the old, ratty looking advisors from Uther's days as king, they seemed to like Gwen. He bet they wouldn't like him if he sat there. He was called over to fill Elayn's wine and he did so, not bothering to converse with the knights like he usually did, he noticed Gwaine watching him, knowingly, and flashed him a dirty look. Gwaine smirked and looked back to his plate.

"Hello, Merlin," Merida, from the kitchens came up next to him and stood, her own wine jug in her hands. Merlin looked over at her, to see her overly long hair had been pulled up today, probably so it didn't get in peoples food, she was so careless with it.

"Hello," he muttered in return. She giggled and nudged him in the shoulder.

"Look at the love birds," she said, making Merlin, reluctantly look up at Gwen and Arthur, who were both laughing about something, Merlin wanted to be sick. "She can't keep her eyes off him…"

"He is a beautiful man," Belle, the big pervert came up to them then, on the other side of Merlin. "Don't you think so, Merlin?"

Merlin said nothing, which actually said all it needed to for the two girls, they giggled together, looking around Merlin, at each other.

"I don't think you've got much of a shot with your lover anymore," Belle spoke again; Merlin wished her a painful death. Alright…not really, but he wished the wine fell on her pink dress and ruined it. "He looks completely taken with his lovely serving girl."

"It must be soon, I can't wait for their wedding!" Merida said. "I bet it will be beautiful!"

"Gwen will be a beautiful bride," Belle said then and Merlin couldn't deny that, she would be a beautiful anything, he just wished she would go be beautiful with someone else and not Arthur.

Arthur leaned in then and kissed Gwen on the cheek, right in front of all the knights and advisors and Merlin wanted to be sick even further. Not being able to stand himself any longer, he dropped the wine jug in a passing serving boys hands and rushed from the room. He didn't want to feel this way, he wanted Arthur to be happy, that should make him happy in return, right? He sighed, he couldn't live the rest of his life like this, that's all he knew. He leaned against the wall, right there, too overcome with his own stupidity, because he was stupid, so very stupid.

The doors to the room opened just seconds later, and Merlin jerked over a bit, fearing it might be Arthur, coming to see where the hell his servant had gone off to, but thank the gods, it was only Leon. He hadn't seen Merlin yet and he let out his own sigh, putting his face in his hands and shook his head. He pulled back and turned, seeing Merlin then. Now seeing his face, Merlin noted the frown and the sadden eyes, Merlin had never seen Leon be anything but a loyal, head held high, knight, seeing him now…it was strange.

"Leon," he said, stepping forward. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," Leon smiled, taking hold of Merlin's shoulder, he smiled at him. "What are you doing out here? Arthur will miss you…"

"I doubt that," Merlin said, bitterly, he couldn't deny it this time. "He has Gwen to keep him company."

"It's a rather sickening sight, isn't it?" Leon asked and Merlin couldn't nod fast enough. Leon smiled again and leaned on the wall next to Merlin. "I've known Gwen since I was a child."

"I know," Merlin nodded. "Her mother was a servant in your house."

" Yeah, and her mother would often bring Gwen along with her, when she came to work, having no one else to watch her, while her father worked," Leon's smile grew and Merlin watched him, as Leon's eyes filled with a memory. "We would play together, Gwen, she wasn't like other girls, she liked playing with wooden swords and getting dirty, my sisters never did."

Merlin kept quiet, even though he might not have known Leon had any sisters, out of knighthood, Merlin then realized, he didn't know Leon that well. He suddenly wanted to change that.

"As we got older, we still spent time together, walking around the city, people didn't care then, of rank, we were just children," Leon continued with his story. "After her mother died and she didn't come to our home anymore, I would go to hers, she was old enough to stay on her own then. We would sit and talk and she would make me baked goods to bring home and eat…she would always shape the breads into a heart."

Merlin laughed in spite of himself and Leon looked over and chuckled too.

"But as I got older I became a knight and she became a servant like her mother, rank became more important," Leon grew sadder then. "We never saw each other anymore, only the passing glance in the halls or in town; it has been much the same since."

He let out a sigh and Merlin smiled, shaking his head.

"You miss the heart shaped breads?"

"Does it show?"

"Not really," Merlin smiled to himself. "I just guessed."

"She will be queen, Merlin," Leon said then, almost pained, glancing over at Merlin for what might be support. Because, Merlin guessed Leon figured that he was experienced with these sort of feelings, what he didn't know is; Merlin was struggling with his own just as much.

"She will be Arthur's queen…" He said, just as pained and Leon looked over at him fully, his eyes widened slightly.

"We are idiots."

"The biggest idiots."

Merlin didn't return to the feast after that, and he didn't think Leon did either. His mind was racing with the conversation he had with the head knight, as he entered Arthur's chambers, it might be hours before the king turned up, but he had to wait to help him to bed anyway. It was big and quiet in Arthur's room, so far away from noise.

In the silence, he could still hear Leon's story, he smiled to himself, but it turned sad. He had never known Leon felt that way, he never let it show, Merlin wished to be more like him, he feared he let his feelings show too much, perhaps even before he knew he had them. He sat down in one of Arthur's high-backed, soft chairs and sighed, wondering then, were all the knights in love with Gwen?

Firstly, there had been Lancelot, and then Arthur, and Gwaine, but Gwaine tried his hand with everyone, (but Merlin apparently,) and now it seemed Leon too. Although, so it seemed Leon had been the first after all. He wondered if Gwen had ever felt the same, if there had ever been a romance between them as children, or young adults. It was Gwen who had trusted Leon and brought him to Arthur that time Morgana and her sister had taken over Camelot. But was that because she trusted Leon the most or because she knew Arthur did?

Merlin couldn't think about it anymore, as his eye lids grew heavy, his head hurt, he would only sleep for a few minutes, he told himself, as his eyes shut. Some unknown time later however, he was shaken awake, it felt like only moments, but it had probably been much longer, if the drool on his chin had anything to do with it.

"Merlin!" a voice rang out and it was the prat, shaking Merlin still.

"Get off, I hear you!" Merlin grumbled, opening his eyes to send a nasty glare Arthur's way. "Is the feast over?"

"No, I just left early," Arthur explained. "I was wondering where you went."

"I was chatting with Leon and then I came here…"

"I'm not paying you to chat with my knights and take naps in my chairs," Arthur reminded him, backing away from him a few steps.

"And I don't wish to be paid to stand there and watch you make love sick eyes at Gwen!" Merlin remarked, before he could stop himself and Arthur smirked.

"Is that why you left?"

"Well, no…" Merlin trailed off, lying, because yes, that's why he left. "I wasn't feeling well and then Leon came out, and I had meant to come back, I just…"

"I understand," Arthur told him, walking away then. Merlin wondered where he was going as he sat up and watched him. Arthur went over to a table and picked up a jug from the feast. "I knicked you a jug of wine!"

"Why did you do that?" Merlin asked, rubbing his eyes with his fingers. "And is it really knicking it when it's your kingdom?"

"Perhaps not," Arthur grinned, coming closer once more, with two goblets between the fingers of his one hand and the jug in the other. "Here," he said, pouring red wine to the rim in both cups, and pushed one toward Merlin. "It'll make you feel better."

"Or worse," Merlin muttered, taking the goblet and bringing it to his lips. The taste of wine was not pleasant, why did he drink it? "I'm betting worse…"

"Just try not to get as pissed as you did the night of my coronation, hm?" Arthur teased him, pulling up the chair next to him and sitting down. "I don't fancy carrying you back to your chambers."

"You could just leave me in the hall if you want," Merlin told him, sipping deeply from his cup, it still tasted foul, he waited for the time when he tasted it and it had no taste. That would be when the good feeling started to kick in. "Someone will roll me to Gaius' door at some point."

"I'm not sure you would roll," Arthur told him, half shrugging as he finished off his cup, refilling it and Merlin's, without asking. Merlin knew then, that he shouldn't be drinking. "You are so oddly shaped."

"Thanks…." He muttered, sipping from the topped off drink anyway.

Before long, or four or five of those goblets later, Merlin's eyes were unfocused and his head was woozy, the wine no longer had taste and Merlin now sat with a goofy sort of smile on his lips.

Arthur smiled at him, and had long since set his goblet down, watching Merlin drink further, they had hardly moved in the hour that they sat there. Arthur knew self-control, Merlin mused to himself, as he sipped from the last of the wine, he had drunk most of the jug himself. He set the cup down and made to stand up, but his body was rather off kilter at the moment, and he fell onto Arthur.

"What the hell are you doing?" Arthur asked, still sounding like he had his wits about him. Damn Arthur and his ability to hold his drink. "Sit down!" he demanded, pushing Merlin back into his seat. But Merlin shouldn't have drank. "You're going to hurt yourself!"

"I should go…" he muttered, words coming slow to him. The last time he had drank like this, he had done magic in front of someone. "I shouldn't be here anymore…I might do something stupid."

"You always do something stupid," Arthur informed him. "If I was worried about that, I would have fired you long ago."

"You will fire me if I do something stupid, so I just…" Merlin staggered to his feet again. "Thanks for the wine."

"Why don't you stay and talk to me?" Arthur asked, standing up too. It was a good thing he did, because Merlin was leaning and leaning and if Arthur wasn't there to push him back up right, well…he would have fallen over.

"I can't talk like this…I don't know my ass from my head!" Merlin remarked, rubbing his face, it felt a tad numb. He could hear Arthur laughing.

"Do you ever, Merlin?"

"Sometimes…"

"Just stay….please," Arthur said, grabbing Merlin's forearms. It sounded tempting, but he just couldn't.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't," Merlin told him, somehow finding the strength to push away from Arthur and head toward the door. But something went wrong on his travels and he wound up running into Arthur's table and plummeting to the floor. Arthur came over, heaved him up then, chuckling slightly as he turned him around, and looked at him. Merlin's eyes couldn't stay focused on him, but he could see the smile on the king's lips.

"You're staying with me, Merlin," Arthur told him. "There is no way you could possibly make it to Gaius' chambers alive."

"I shouldn't stay…"

"You have no choice," Arthur told him, arms wrapping around Merlin's middle. "I'm the king."

"You are the king…" Merlin trailed off, fuzzy eyes running over his face, he was handsome even in a state like this. Arthur licked his lips then, Merlin noticed and it made him feel warm. Well, warmer then he already was. Arthur leaned forward a little and Merlin paniced, he knew what was going to happen and he knew he couldn't…

He pushed him back, forcefully, scared of what would happen if he didn't. Arthur looked between them confused, as he reached out and stopped Merlin from toppling over from the force of the shove.

"I thought you were going to kiss me…" Merlin admitted, trailing off.

"Perhaps, because I was."

"But why would you want to?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

Merlin wasn't quite sure what the hell he was doing, he blamed the drink, he wouldn't have done it if he was sober. But he leaned forward, pressing his lips to Arthur's, for a second. He froze then, shocking himself by his actions. Though, it wasn't like Arthur was doing much better, he did the same thing, neither moving. This was stupid, Merlin thought, both of them standing there with their mouths together, this was obviously a mistake, he shouldn't have kissed him, no matter if Arthur said he wanted to kiss him or not. Merlin still didn't pull away however; he was scared to, what would happen when he did?

He was worried, until Arthur's bottom lip dropped down and captured more of Merlin's mouth with his, the king then cocked his head to the side, gaining better access as Merlin's lips started moving with his. Merlin gasped when one of Arthur's hands came up to grasp the nape of his neck, pulling him even closer. And Arthur, being a man of opportunities, found this the right time to allow his tongue into Merlin's mouth, without asking or warning.

His tongue toyed with Merlin's, inviting it to play and when it did, he moaned, sending unpleasant, yet very pleasant, shivers down Merlin's spine. They pulled away then, Arthur dragging his teeth along Merlin's bottom lip as he did. They looked at each other, both were red mouthed and speechless. It was Arthur who acted first.

"Bed…" he said, in a rough voice, grabbing hold of Merlin's wrist and pulled him. Merlin, too drunk off five or six (who knows how many,) cups of wine and that kiss, followed willingly. But when the back of his knees hit Arthur's plushy bed, Arthur stopped him from sitting down, Merlin worried he had changed his mind, that he had figured out this was a mistake, but that wasn't quite the case. Instead, he kissed the palm of Merlin's left hand and started pulling the brown jacket sleeve from that arm, Merlin helped him then, shrugging off the jacket and throwing in onto the floor, or some unknown location. Arthur smiled at him, red lipped still, puffy and very kissable, he trailed his fingers up from Merlin's side and brushed gentle, roughed finger tips over his cheekbones and then his jawline, down his pulse point on his neck and finally the knot on his neckerchief.

"You're wearing the one I bought you," Arthur commented, as it came undone in his hands, and he pulled it away, licking his lips as he inched closer once more. "Or you were rather…"

Any thoughts Merlin had of replying to this, were lost once the king started leaving soft kisses on his neck. So soft and gentle that Merlin swore he was going mad. It felt too right, it was too good and Merlin was not at all sober enough to truly appreciate it. He sighed and let himself fall back, onto the bed, Arthur looked a little surprised at this, but followed nonetheless, stepping on the bed with knees, as he hovered over Merlin.

He leaned up, getting rather impatient and pressed their mouths together once more, it had been far too long since there last kiss, to his surprise Arthur moaned again and his hands went everywhere; to Merlin's hair, to his hips, to that little bit of skin that was exposed on his back. Their bodies pressed together and then apart, as Arthur pushed them up to the pillows, were Merlin's head laid and felt like he was on a fluffy cloud. Or maybe that was because he was kissing Arthur, either way, he liked the fluffy cloud. And for the love of the gods, Arthur was good at this, Merlin wondered how he got so good at this; he pulled away then and leaned his forehead on Merlin's. They both breathed heavily into each other's faces.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this," he sighed, still letting his hands roam up and down Merlin's sides. Merlin tried his best to think of something to say, but he was too drunk, the only thing he could think about was how much he liked the way Arthur was kissing his chin now. He didn't care about anything else, as Arthur's lips trailed down to his ear and took his earlobe between his lips. Nothing, Merlin thought about nothing, not even Gwen…

He gasped then, because now he was thinking about Gwen, poor Gwen who had so many knights in love with her, whose future husband was currently making patterns with his tongue on Merlin's neck. They couldn't do this.

"Stop!" he said, his voice sounding rougher than even Arthurs did. "Stop!" He didn't want to, but he couldn't do this "We can't do this."

Arthur pulled back, brow forwarded, "Why not?"

"Gwen…"

Arthur didn't say anything, but the utter disappointment was clear in his eyes and on his face as he rolled off of Merlin and laid flat on his back next to him. They lay there then, not saying a word, it was the silence that made Merlin the saddest, not the desperate longing for Arthur to kiss him again.

"I'm sorry," he said, when he finally found his nerve to speak again. "I wish that I..."

"No," Arthur said, letting out a hallow breath, Merlin turned his head to look at him, he wished he hadn't. "You're right, I was wrong to have let it go that far."

"I don't want you to be like what those servants say," Merlin told him, and Arthur looked over at him then too, their eyes locked. "You are a good man, the best I've ever known and you can't be like that."

"Be like what exactly?" Arthur asked, Merlin just shook his head.

"It doesn't matter, just…" Merlin paused, trying to think of the right words. "Be you."

Arthur chuckled, "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

"Give me a break, I'm a bit pissed here," Merlin remarked, Arthur chuckled further and rolled toward him.

"I've noticed."

"We're not going to remember this in the morning you know," Merlin told him, after a moment or two, of just looking at each other.

"We might," Arthur shrugged, sliding slightly closer suddenly. Merlin shook his head.

"I hope not," he sat up then, rather quickly, and threw his legs over the side of the bed. "I should go…"

"No," Arthur jumped up too, grabbing his arm. "Don't leave, stay…"

"I can't, we can't…I don't want to…" Merlin mumbled, feeling slightly dizzy from all his quick movements. Arthur took this as an advantage, and pulled him back into the bed. "Arthur, please…"

"Sh," he whispered, wrapping his arms around Merlin's middle. "Just stay with me, alright?"

Giving in, to Arthur and his temptations, he slid in closer to Arthur, and ran his fingers through those blonde locks. He had always wanted to do that, Arthur had lovely hair, it was so soft against his fingers. He hummed and pressed his cold nose into the warmth of Arthur's neck, who let out a hiss, as he threw blankets over them.

"Goodnight, Arthur."

"Goodnight," he got in reply, feeling strong, warm arms wrapped tight around him and a press of lips to his forehead. Things went black then, very black, that turned cold and painful before long.

Merlin woke up with the worst headache of his life, as he lie on his stomach on what could be a cloud, but smelled nicer than that, Merlin always thought clouds would smell like wet dog and that was unpleased as hell…much like his headache.

He had drool in a pool under his face and he thought he had better get up before he drawned in it, he groaned as he rolled and sat on his bottom. This bed was so nice, he wondered why as he opened his eyes and his mouth fell open.

"What the hell…" he said, scrabbling onto his knees as he looked around Arthur's room. He more or less had a panic attack then, as he looked to his left and there lie Arthur. "Oh my gods, I didn't, you didn't….we-"

But before he finished his ramble, as he tried to make a mad dash out of the bed, he fumbled in the blankets and wound up face planting into the floor, with a loud bang.

"What the hell are you doing?" he heard Arthur ask and he stood up on his knees, to be uncomfortably close to were Arthur now lay, leaning over the bed to check on him. "What is the matter with you?!"

"I was just…I was….Why am I in your bed?!" he demanded, getting right to the point. Honestly, after all he had drunk the night before, he was lucky he wasn't tossing his insides into a bucket. He did notice though, as Arthur's face fell, into a frown.

"You don't remember?"

"Do I look like I remember?!"

"You were too drunk to walk back to Gaius' chambers," Arthur said then, in that king voice Merlin had grown to know well. "I allowed you to stay here for the night."

"In your bed...?" Merlin asked, racking his brain, trying to remember this occurring, nothing came to him.

"Does it matter?"

Merlin was heading back to Gaius' chambers now, head throbbing more with each step he took, his stomach turned, at the smell of food being cooked in the castle and his lips felt strange, chapped and stinging and he tried to figure out why this was, as he walked through the door to see Gaius already up. The old man had just opened his mouth to say something to Merlin, when an image of Merlin kissing Arthur flashed through his aching mind.

"Oh, by the gods," he said, out loud, eyes widening. "I kissed him!"

"Did you?" Gaius said, amused, from his spot by the work beach. "It was about time, if you ask me!"


	9. Chapter 9

Merlin didn't care how much faith Gaius had in him, he had said it was a bad idea, and it had been, very bad. Although, Merlin could, in fact, find his backside, he was currently sitting on it, or dragging it long the floor was more like it, but that didn't matter, the point is, he knew exactly where it was and it was terrified.

The monster was advancing on him, hissing and growling, spit flying from it's opened mouth, it had done something to the knights, all of them, more than just turned them into giant jerks at this point. They were all but dead, it was only Gwen and Merlin left now. For a reason Merlin very much assumed was his magic for him and Gwen's girl-ness for her, the Lamia didn't affect them, and for that, it wanted them dead.

Gwen was letting out a rather loud scream now, her brother's sword in her hands, Merlin could hear it. He didn't want to do magic in front of her, but it looked more and more like he was going to have to.

"GET AWAY FROM HIM!" she screamed, brave thing she was, running forward swinging the sword at the Lamia, it retreated slightly, letting Merlin go but knocking Gwen over in the process. The sword flew from her hand then, he heard it tinkling on the ground. Merlin knew the only thing he could do now, he just hoped Gwen would understand. But just as the spell was about to leave his lips, the thing let out a nasty scream, falling forward. Behind it, where the blocks of white brick lay on the ground, and the sunshine seeps in the cracks, stood the king of Camelot. Merlin sighed in relief, he knew he would come. Gwen scrabbled to her feet then, rushing to her future husbands side, while Merlin just lie there still, breathing in and out, that thing scared him more than he would care to admit. He was getting over it though, watching as Arthur picked Gwen up in a hug, twirling her around, Merlin wanted to puke now, instead of being scared.

"You carry on, don't worry about me," he remarked, before he could help himself, as he dragged himself up into a sitting position. It was truly sickening, honestly. He heard Arthur let out a bit of a laugh then, as he let go of Gwen and walked over to Merlin.

"Sorry," he said, as he grabbed him by the arm and heaved him up. Letting out a bit of a chuckle, as he grabbed him on the other shoulder, which hurt a little bit, looking over his body quickly. "It's almost good to see you, Merlin."

Merlin didn't know if he should be offended or not.

"Like wise…"

"Almost," Arthur remarked, with a smirk, before turning around, going back to Gwen. Yes, Merlin was offended.

It was back in the small village that Merlin went back to his normal servant duties, now that Gaius was here to treat the sick. From now on, he was going to stick to magic, he knew it so much better, he wasn't ready to be acting physician yet, he needed more time to learn from Gaius. He was picking supplies up from the ground then, as he heard the jingle of royal-ness pass him, he kept his head down, not sure if it was Arthur or Leon, they both jingled like that sometimes.

"So…" he heard the prat-like voice sound and knew, it was the clotpole. Merlin was still mad at him, or at least offended, Gwen got a damn hug and probably a kiss at some point, while Merlin got an 'almost happy to see you.' Merlin didn't want a hug but at least something better than that. Gwaine had said last time Merlin had gone missing Arthur hugged him, even after they had found him in a bog. Not that Merlin remembered this; he was an assassin for Morgana at that point. But why did Arthur hug him then and not when Merlin was almost killed by a vicious, monster-girl? He supposed because Gwen was around, perhaps Arthur wanted to tone down whatever affection he felt for Merlin around her, that was only natural of course.

And Merlin knew there was affection there, now, after more of those drunken memories from the summer harvest had come back. He still knew it would never work out and maybe after that night Arthur had figured that out too. He took in a sigh, telling himself that this shouldn't upset him like it was, he knew nothing could ever happen between them, Arthur had to marry Gwen.

He looked up at the prat then, as he spoke his name.

"Merlin…" he made a face and Merlin glared. "Being saved by a woman, that can't feel good."

"It feels a lot better than being dead," Merlin remarked, wanting to get back to his work, he didn't have time for this. Arthur made a doubting face, that Merlin had to admit, was kind of cute, in a 'I want to punch you in the face, you giant prat ' kind of way.

"Does it?" Arthur asked then. "Being saved by a woman," he raised one hand and then the other, balancing them out. "Or being dead…I'd have to think about that one."

Merlin rolled his eyes, "Well don't think too hard, you might hurt yourself."

He smirked, patting him on the shoulder, before returning to his work. Arthur made a noise, as if he was offended, but Merlin knew he really wasn't, he lightly punched Merlin in the shoulder then and walked away. Merlin watched him go for a second and smiled, he really was an ass.

The villagers, thankful for the king's help, offered them foods and wines that night, in the tavern, and a place to stay. The food was great, Merlin was actually allowed to sit and eat this time and not serve, like he always did. The food reminded him a lot of Ealdor, which was nice. It had been far too long since he had been there. Merlin looked around, from his spot next to Gaius, who was engaging in a chat with Elayn, and more or less ignoring Merlin. (Not that he minded, he spent too much time with Gaius as it was.) He looked around then, to see Arthur talking to the village elder, John. He looked again to find Gwen talking to Mary, John's wife, Leon was standing nearby, with Percival, watching her. Merlin sighed then, a sad smile on his lips. He got up and headed toward Arthur, not that he needed to for any real reason, just that he wanted to go to bed, he was tired and had almost been killed by a monster-girl. So he would really like to know if he had to play doting servant tonight, or if he could just go to bed now.

"Guinevere is a lovely girl," Arthur was saying to John as Merlin approached, Arthur's blue eyes landed on Merlin then and he grinned.

"You are a lucky man, my lord," John was saying, as he paid no mind to Merlin's presence at all, but Arthur's eyes hadn't left him since he got there and that made Merlin slightly warm and uncomfortable.

"Yes, I know I am," Arthur told him, patting him on the shoulder, good-natured. "I think I will turn in for the night, thank you for the hospitality, it is greatly appreciated."

"Anything for you, my lord," John bowed his head, walking away then, Merlin watched as he walked over to his wife and wrapped an arm around her waist. Merlin loked back to Arthur after a second or two.

"Let's go to bed, Merlin," Arthur told him, heading toward the stairs. Merlin followed, like a puppy, like he always did.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about," Merlin said, as they climbed the stairs. "Will you need my services tonight, Sire?"

"Yes," Arthur answered, as they reached the floor the rooms were on. There weren't quite enough rooms for all of the knights, and the rest of them in their party, many had to share rooms. "Yes, I think I will…"

They entered the room the king would have, Merlin had planned on sharing with Gaius. Though as he entered, he saw there was only one bed, he hoped that their room had more than one, Merlin didn't fancy sleeping on the floor after all the throwing around he been through today. Merlin heard Arthur shut the door behind them as they walked in and Merlin went straight to work on readying the king's bed, grabbing one of the limp pillows and started fluffing it. But as he did, he felt an overwhelming presence from behind him and stood up, only then, to feel hands on both sides of his hips and wet lips on his neck, he took a sharp breath.

Arthur smelled of wine, Merlin hadn't been stupid enough to drink again, not after the summer harvest. It seemed Arthur didn't take that precaution though. This was just simply ridicules, and quite nice…but that was beside the point! Arthur was an utter ass, he couldn't have both of them, and he knew that, Merlin knew that he did. He would have to marry Gwen, she could be his queen and his heir giver, Merlin was nothing but a manservant.

"Arthur...stop it!"

"I don't see why I should."

"Because I'm telling you to!"

But Arthur didn't listen, he only answered this by running his tongue under the cover of Merlin's neckerchief. Merlin shivered and tried to control his own stupidity. He remembered then, the pillow in his hands, and with a quick whack, hit Arthur right in the head with it.

"Merlin!" he yelled, letting go of him and staggering back. 'How dare you hit the king of Camelot with a pillow!"

"I told you to stop…" Merlin shrugged, getting back to work. It took him only a few more minutes to finish the bed and then he turned to Arthur to see him leaning against the wall, watching him with what could only be described as bedroom eyes. "I just want to go to sleep, I've had a hard few days."

"Mm, me too," Arthur remarked, walking closer to him, Merlin started to undress him then. "I was worried about you, I thought I had lost you again."

"But you were only almost happy to see me, Sire," Merlin remarked, coldly. "I don't see why you would care."

"You know I was only saying that."

"Do I?"

"Of course," Arthur answered, but said no more and this made Merlin roll his eyes. He added after a moment. "And Guinevere… I was worried for Guinevere as well."

"Yes, and Guinevere…" Merlin repeated, pulling the shirt from the king's body. "May I go now?"

"Go?" Arthur asked, raising an eyebrow. "Where to?"

"To my room."

"You will be staying here with me, obviously."

"There is only one bed, Sire…"

"Exactly."

Merlin shook his head, crossing his arms, "No..."

"Do not fight with me, Merlin, not tonight," Arthur told him, grabbing his arm and pulling him toward the bed, pushing the jacket from his shoulders then and letting it fall to the floor.

"You once said sharing a bed with me would be a horror," Merlin told him, as he watched the king get into the bed, still pulling him along by the arm. Merlin sat on the edge of it.

"I say things, to hide the way I feel," Arthur told him, pulling him down then. "I thought you knew that."

"I wish I knew anymore..."

"I am rubbish with feelings," Arthur continued, rolling and hovering over Merlin. "But that doesn't mean I don't have them."

"Yes," Merlin nodded, lifting his hand up and brushing the stray, blonde hairs from Arthur's eyes. "For Gwen…"

"Why are you so noble?" Arthur asked, after a moment. "You could have me, and yet you choose not to."

"I can't have you," Merlin shook his head, feeling suddenly like crying. "That's not what I'm meant to be, you are much too good for that."

"But am I really?" Arthur asked then. "Am I not just everything those servants say about me?"

"Do you know what they say?"

"I'm the king, Merlin, of course I do," Arthur answered. "But perhaps they are right, perhaps I would…"

"You wouldn't!" Merlin stopped him, pushing him back slightly, by the shoulders. "I wouldn't let you."

"But yet, even if I married Guinevere, if you still offered…" Arthur said then, pulling away and lying down next to Merlin. "I wouldn't give it a second thought."

"You couldn't."

"I could, Merlin, if I wanted to."

"Because you're the king?"

"No, because I'm human, we all want things," Arthur told him, running gentle fingers beneath Merlin's shirt. "We all have to make sacrifices sometimes, give up things for someone else."

"I don't want you to," Merlin told him, shivering at the light touches on his side. "I want you to be happy, to have everything."

"I know," Arthur mused, softly into his ear. "That's what you want for me, but yet you never think of what you want for yourself."

"It's not about me, or what I want."

"Tell me what you want, Merlin, " he whispered. "Not what you want for other people, sometimes it's alright to be selfish, to want something for yourself…just tell me."

"I don't…" Merlin mumbled, shaking his head and rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands, overcome again. "I don't want you to marry Gwen." He admitted. "I...I'm sorry."

"Then I won't," Arthur told him, pressing a kiss to his cheekbone.

"But you have to…"

"I don't," Arthur told him, again. "I won't marry her if you don't want me to." Arthur snuggled in next to him and wrapped an arm around his middle, dragging him closer. "I like sleeping next to you…"

Soon the king was fast asleep, breathing in and out steadily on the back of Merlin's neck, but Merlin couldn't sleep. His mind was reeling, Arthur had to marry, he needed a queen, he needed an heir, why did he let whatever was between him and Merlin get in the way? It didn't mean anything, it couldn't mean anything. Not even if it did mean a thousand something's. He really wouldn't marry Gwen for him? But he would have to marry someday, if not Gwen, than someone else. Either way, Merlin would end up hurt. No matter if they perused this, whatever the hell it was, or if they hide it away...Merlin would still end up hurt.


	10. Chapter 10

The trip back to Camelot was a long one, even longer than what it felt like getting to that small town. But all was well there now, and Merlin was thankful for that, and also kind of tired. As soon as they had returned Merlin was off his horse and handing her over to a stable boy. He headed to Gaius' chambers even though he still had servant duties to do, he sent someone else to finish them. He was too tired and it was probably best that he and Arthur spent some time apart, even though they had just spent three whole days apart, it was better this way.

"I think I'm heading to bed now, Gaius," Merlin said, as he walked toward his room, up a few first steps, Gaius nodded, with a yawn.

"Go right ahead, my boy, I'll finish the unpacking."

Grateful, Merlin smiled and continued up the stairs. Merlin didn't bother to change out of his weather-warn clothes, just crashed into his uncomfortable bed and fell asleep within minutes. It was sometime later that he was woken by slow poundings somewhere. What the hell is Gaius unpacking? He thought, as he looked out his small window and saw the moon shining bright in the sky; he couldn't have been asleep for more than a few hours. He threw off his thin blanket and headed down the stairs, to find Gaius fast asleep in his bed. There was the pounding sound again and Merlin glared at the door, someone had better be dying!

He yanked open the door to find the King of Camelot there.

"What the hell do you want?" Merlin barked at him, Arthur smiled at this.

"Is that anyway to speak to your king, Merlin?"

"It's a way to talk to the prick that woke me up!" Merlin retorted, pushing Arthur back and shutting them in the hall, so they didn't wake Gaius. "What the hell do you want?"

Arthur chuckled, "I wanted to see you."

"Why?" Merlin demanded, glaring at him through the dark corridor. "Are you drunk again...?"

"I'm not drunk, I just wanted to see you is all," Arthur shrugged. "You never came to my chambers."

"Because I was tired," Merlin barked at him. "I was in bed, if you haven't noticed…" he trailed off, looking the king up and down to see him in his bedtime pants and his white, puffy shirt; he clearly had been in bed too, although Merlin still wore his normal clothes. "Is that all…you just wanted to see me?"

"Mostly," Arthur grinned then, slipping closer suddenly. "And I wanted to ask if you would go on a walk with me?"

"Why...?" Merlin asked, confused and tired and not having time for this anymore. "And why couldn't you wait until morning to ask me?"

"I mean for a walk now, when we can be alone…"

"Are you drunk?" Merlin asked again, he only ever seemed to act this way when he was drunk. "You always act this way when you're drunk. Let me smell your breath!"

"I'm not drunk, Merlin!" Arthur said, a bit irritated now. "I just wish to be alone with you…"

"Let me smell your breath!" Merlin demanded, leaning forward to further check for intoxication. He glared as Arthur through narrowed eyes, grabbing his mouth. He smelled no alcohol and sighed.

"Are you quite through?" Arthur asked, glaring now, himself, pulling away from Merlin slightly. "Will you go on a walk with me now?"

"I'm tired…" Merlin whined, crossing his arms and pouting. "And if you're not drunk I don't see why you're acting this way."

"I don't need to be drunk to feel affection toward you," Arthur told him, plainly. "Though, you are making it quite difficult at this moment." He took hold of Merlin's wrist then and started pulling him toward the doors. "You will walk with me and like it!"

"If this is your weak attempt at courting me, you're doing it all wrong!" Merlin explained, reluctantly following behind the king.

"It seems I have been doing it wrong this whole time…" Arthur mumbled and Merlin, because he didn't know what to say about this, pretended he hadn't heard.

There was a chill in the air outside, rather odd for a summer night but Merlin did his best to ignore it, using his free hand to pull his jacket closer. His other hand was still being dragged along with the rest of him, through the town. There was no one out at this time of night and it was a bit scary Merlin had to admit, as they walked through the lower town and out of the gates unnoticed. This was great, Merlin thought, they could both be murdered and no one would ever know. The only light was from the moon and that hardly helped, as they navigated through the brush, until they got to a small clearing and Arthur turned to Merlin.

"It's a bit cold, we should start a fire," he said. Finally letting go of Merlin's wrist, in search for firewood. Merlin had done it a few times before, but even still, trying to find good firewood in the dark was hard. He would much rather be asleep right now. Once the wood was all found and placed correctly, Merlin turned back to Arthur to find him sitting on a log, watching Merlin closely. Until he was caught of course, and then he smirked and turned around on the log, looking up at the sky. Merlin muttered the fire spell then, and flames started forming at once, Arthur turned back around then and grinned.

"Come sit with me," he insisted, patting the log next to him and Merlin rolled his eyes, going against his better judgment and sat down. "It's a beautiful night," Arthur said then, sliding closer to Merlin. Because Merlin had sat as far away from Arthur as possible. "The fire really does wonders."

"We're sitting ducks out here," Merlin complained. "Do you even have your sword?"

"No," Arthur admitted, looking concerned for a moment, before turning to Merlin with a grin. "But I don't need it." Merlin rolled his eyes, Arthur was too sure of himself sometimes. "Let's not worry about that now…"

Arthur slipped closer even still, and put an arm around Merlin's middle, and dragged him the last few inches, so now they were touching. Merlin growl and tried to push himself away, but had no luck.

"So, you've brought me out here to get in my trousers, is that it?" Merlin all but yelled, trying to shove Arthur away again. "Why don't you get it, that that is not what I'm meant to be?"

"That was not my intention!" Arthur retorted, "But I do grow tired of you denying me every time I want to be close with you, I know you love me, stop fighting it!"

"It doesn't matter!" Merlin yelled this time, shaking his head. "It doesn't matter if I…if I do, because we could never work, not ever!"

"Why not…?"

"Because you are meant to marry Gwen, I can't give you anything she offers you!" Merlin felt overwhelmed suddenly, like tears were going to fall, but he held them off. "And I will not just warm your bed, Arthur; I won't do that to Gwen!"

"But you admit it," Arthur said, softly. "You admit you love me?"

"Really?!" Merlin yelled again. "You never listen to a word I say!"

"I do, I listen and you say the same things every single time," Arthur retorted, pushing Merlin down onto the ground, because he was trying to get up from the log. "And not once, not one time that I've asked you, will you just admit you love me, that has nothing to do with Guinevere, or anyone else, it is not a sin for you to love me, Merlin!"

"It's always the same thing with you!" Merlin countered, feeling annoyed beyond reason suddenly. "You say the same thing, I'm in love with you, you want me to admit it, but you've never once told me your feelings, why should I have to admit mine then?"

"You have a point there…" Arthur trailed off, and looked away from him. Merlin watched, closely, as a small smile formed on the king's lips. "It should be no surprise to you by now, that I want you," he turned his gaze back to Merlin and Merlin felt all the breath leave his lungs. "But if you want to hear it, fine; I want you, I have so, for years."

"What about Gwen?" Merlin asked, breathless, because the air in his lungs was still all gone. "I thought you loved her?"

"I do love her, she is beautiful and will make a wonderful queen for Camelot," Arthur told him. "But I do not desire her the way I do you…"

"W-why not?"

"I don't know," Arthur admitted, smiling at Merlin again. "She is sweet and kind and challenges me to be a better man, but so do you, in so many more ways. You challenge me with your actions and your mouth, sometimes when you're running off at the mouth, I just want to hold you over the table and…"

"Arthur!"

"Well, you asked for the truth, didn't you?" Arthur smirked, slyly. Merlin bit his lip, feeling rather warmer than before and it had nothing to do with the fire.

"Maybe you could have that with Gwen," he tried. "Haven't you ever…slept with her?"

"No…"

"Oh, I thought you would have," Merlin mumbled. Arthur chuckled at this.

"Merlin, I'm constantly with you, when would I have had time?"

"I thought maybe when you went to her house…" he mumbled further. "Does Gwen know you feel this way?"

"No."

"Well, maybe she's waiting for your wedding night to…turn it on," Merlin made a face and Arthur laughed again.

"I'm not entirely sure I want to wait until my wedding night to find out, when I already desire someone else."

"But you shouldn't…"

"That hasn't stopped me before," Arthur told him, slipping onto the ground next to him, wrapping an arm around his middle. This time, Merlin let him do it. "I had always worried if I was out of line, perhaps I still am, but I don't think I could hide it for the rest of my life, even if you are willing to."

"I only want what's best for you."

"Perhaps that's you," Arthur whispered into Merlin's ear, but Merlin only shook his head. He was meant to protect Arthur, be by his side, not distract him with things like love or desire, that was not what he was supposed to be to Arthur and once again, it seemed Merlin had messed things up.

"We should go back, it's getting really late."

"Hmm, not yet," Arthur hummed in his ear. "I was truthful for you, now you must do the same for me."

"No…" Merlin said, shaking his head and tried to break away from Arthur, but Arthur held tight. "Please don't make me say it."

"Do you love me?" he asked anyway and Merlin sighed. He couldn't lie to him and say he didn't.

"Yes."

"I knew it..." Arthur muttered, softly, before planting even softer kisses to Merlin's neck and he just let him, for a moment or two.

"We can't let this change anything…"

"It already has."

Walking back toward the castle, Merlin felt like an idiot, as Arthur clutched his hand, clearly happy with the talk they had, but Merlin wasn't. Even as Arthur pinned him against Gaius' door and kissed him goodnight, it was a blur, of thoughts and fears. He lay in bed now, but this time he couldn't sleep, the poorly made mattress was just hurting his back at this point and he itched to get up, to move and stop the thoughts running through his mind.

It didn't matter what he wanted, he had learned that a long while ago, even if he wanted Arthur, it didn't matter, it was what was best for Arthur and for his kingdom, for the king he would turn out to be. He was already a good king and in the future, he would be a great king, but where did Merlin fall in it all? Would he still be his servant? Or would he need to be more than that?

He got up then and headed out, it was nearing morning, but still dark enough that it made it hard for Merlin to see as he once again that night, left Gaius' chambers. He headed down the same path he had with Arthur, but this time going for a bigger clearing, calling the one person…dragon, who could help him sort this mess out.

Kilgharrah landed in a loud, but graceful lump on the ground and looked Merlin over closely.

"What is it, Young Warlock?"

Merlin didn't know what to say, so he got to the point. "Arthur desires me!"

Kilgarrah raised a dragon eyebrow, "You woke me for this?"

"I don't know what to do…" Merlin admitted and the Great Dragon glared.

"If you called me just to ask if you should mate with the king...I will not give you an answer, that is not any of my concern."

"I didn't mean that!" Merlin retorted, slightly embarrassed. "I just, I don't know what it will change, he's supposed to be a great king, but how can he be without a queen or an heir?"

"A queen nor child define a king, Merlin, Arthur will be great without all that, but with you by his side instead."

"So, you think I should let it happen...?"

"Do you love him…?" Kilgharrha asked, just as there was a crunch of a twig behind them, Merlin whipped around, looking toward the thick trees and glared into them, but nothing was there. He turned back around and the Great Dragon eyed him.

"I do," he admitted, after another second.

"Then you should," the dragon smiled. "Your paths lie together; it was never foretold just how they lie."

"But what if I mess everything up?"

"When have you not?"

"I mean, what if we do let things happen, but then something goes wrong, what if he finds out about my magic and hates me?!"

"You must give the young king more credit than that, Merlin, if he cares for you as you do him, then he will not let that change anything between you."

"But if he does…" Merlin sighed, eyes widening, suddenly terrified at the thought. "How can I protect him then?"

"That is a chance you must take, if you decide to follow your heart this way."

"I don't know what to do…"

"Have you ever?"

"You're no help!" Merlin retorted, crossing his arms, with a pout. Kilgharrah let out a roar of laughter then. (An actual roar.)

"Follow your heart, Merlin, take it from someone who has lived as long as I; love is one of the hardest things to find, and when true enough…unstoppable."

Merlin thought this over for a second or two, with a long sigh.

"Thank you," Merlin smiled at the dragon, and the smile was returned. The Great Dragon bowed his heed then and his giant wings came from his sides, batting as he rose into the air.

"Goodnight, Young Warlock, I trust you know what to do now…?"

Before Merlin answered, the dragon was in the air and out of sight, but Merlin nodded anyway, "I do."

He walked through the gates of Camelot, sometime after, with a smile plastered on his lips, maybe he could let things happen with Arthur, maybe it would all be alright. There was still a slight Gwen problem, and his magic was always there, but they could make it work, couldn't they? He went along thinking until…

"I thought you had gone to see another lover," someone said behind him and he frozen. "I would have killed him."

"Arthur…" Merlin turned around, slightly wide eyed, as Arthur advanced on him. "What are you doing out here?"

"I saw you sneaking out again, so I followed," he smirked. "Where did you go?"

"To think," he half lied. "I can't think in my room for too long, it feels like the walls are closing in on me after awhile."

"I know the feeling," Arthur told him, smirk growing. "Is that where you went last time I caught you sneaking out? Was there ever any man or did you lie about that too?"

"I lied…"

"I should have known," Arthur rolled his eyes. "And what exactly where you thinking about all alone in the woods?"

"You," Merlin grinned.

Arthur grinned in return and stepped forward, Merlin let him, he let him lean in and…but just then a scream was heard and they jerked apart. It was a girl, no more than sixteen, she came running through the gates.

"DRAGON!" she yelled and Merlin almost fell over from shock. "I saw a dragon, flying!"

"A dragon?" Arthur question, putting on the king voice. "That is impossible, there are no dragons anywhere near Camelot, if there were, I would know."

"I know what I saw, Sire, I was off, in the woods," she came closer, looking pale even in the still nearly-dark of the almost morning. "Picking flowers for my mother, when I saw it, it was talking to-"

"That's impossible!" Arthur said, interrupting her and putting an arm around her shoulders. "My servant was just out in those woods, did you see anything, Merlin?"

"No!" Merlin shook his head, maybe a little too much, the girl eyed him.

"See, there is nothing to fear," Arthur insisted. "But perhaps you want to be seen by Gaius, you might be getting an illness and what better than to catch it early?"

In Gaius' chambers, the girl tried to explain more, as Gaius nodded, mixing something in a bowl. Before Merlin's name could be motioned though, he pulled Arthur from the room. Arthur offered his hand and Merlin took it.

"I'll wake you back to your chambers," Merlin told him, as they already were walking toward the stairs. "Maybe you can get a bit a sleep before you have to get up."

"Or you could stay…"

"No," Merlin shook his head, feeling warmth spread over his cheeks at the thought. "You need your rest, you have meetings."

"They can wait."

"No," Merlin said, as they finally reached Arthur's door. He left him there, in his chambers, still wanting Merlin to stay and Merlin had to admit, it sounded tempting. After his talk with the dragon, he wasn't so scared anymore, but he still felt guilty for Gwen and for lying to Arthur. He returned to Gaius' chambers then, to see him finishing up a potion, he handed it to Merlin upon him entering.

"It is the same you used on Agravaine," he told him, in an undertone. Merlin just nodded and muttered the spell. He walked over to the girl then, who sat on Gaius' cot, looking terrified.

"You, you were talking to the dragon!" she muttered, as Merlin sat in a chair across from her.

"Yes I was," he admitted, it didn't matter anyway, in a few minutes she would forget this all happened. "He's my friend." He handed her the potion. "Gaius said this will make you feel better."

She eyed him, but took it anyway, staring at Merlin the whole time.

"Are you feeling better?" he asked, after a moment or two. He remembered now quickly it had worked on Agravaine and that had been with it clouded in wine. She giggled suddenly and Merlin smiled. "Get some rest."

She did just that, and literally fell over, right onto the floor in front of him, soft snores coming from her lips. Merlin lifted her from the floor and laid her in the bed, turning to Gaius after.

"I think I'll go to sleep for a few hours, before Arthur needs me," he said, but Gaius held out an arm to stop him.

"Not so fast, it is almost day light, there is no sense in going to sleep now," Gaius informed him, with a smile. "Arthur might not need you, but I could use a hand. My leach tank needs a good cleaning again." Merlin grumbled at this, shaking his head. "Go on, get to it, my boy!"

Merlin whined, rolling up his sleeves, he should have stayed with Arthur…


	11. Chapter 11

"Have you written your speech yet, Sire?" Merlin asked, as he walked into the king's chambers. Sometimes he honestly felt as though Arthur was a child and Merlin was his nursemaid. Arthur looked up from the desk his head had been lying on and blinked, eyes slightly droopy, clearly he had been asleep, Merlin repeated the question. "Have you written your speech yet, Sire?"

"Have you written my speech yet, Merlin?" Arthur replied, with a grumbly voice, rubbing his eyes with the heal of his hands, as he sat back in the chair. Merlin was as overworked and tired as the rest of them, but this was no time for a nap.

"But, Arthur," Merlin sighed, stepping into the room further to stress the issue. "The visiting king will be here any moment and you will not have enough time to write it before the feast tonight."

"Then I suggest you get on it," Arthur grinned, standing up and heading toward the door, he stopped, for only a second, to pat Merlin on the back, "Get to it!"

He left the room then, and an aggravated Merlin behind. Merlin wrote the speech, repugnantly and rather quickly, though he still felt the words fit the celebration and how Arthur would speak. It was a good speech, if Merlin did so say himself. He headed out then, because he had heard lots of noise going on beyond the king's window and fingered the visiting royals had finally arrived, an hour late, but Merlin supposed that was royalty for you. Though, Arthur always stressed about being on time, which Merlin was hardly ever.

Upon reaching the courtyard, he found the knights all lined up on the stairs, red caped and waiting to show everyone just how united and kingdom-like they all were. Merlin pushed through them, in the direction of the blonde idiot standing in the front of the line, head in a crown. Well, this was the second time Merlin had seen him wear it, there was no doubt, he was king. Merlin smiled as he reached him. It was no way at all proper for Merlin, a nothing, not at all noble manservant to be standing to the king's side as another king rode in to judge him. But Arthur merely smiled at him as he took his stance next to him and Merlin smiled too, putting his hands behind his back, just like Arthur stood.

This king, King Rodor of Nemeth, seemed nice enough, maybe a bit nicer than other king's Merlin has seen come to Camelot, but Merlin was still at a distance, so he couldn't tell for sure. His daughter though, Princess Mithian, she was beautiful, flowing dress and fair skin. She was the perfect princess without a doubt.

Arthur was talking to her and her father for only a moment or two, before Leon walked forward as well and led the other king inside the castle. The princess wrapped her arm around Arthur's then and allowed him to lead her inside, speaking quietly together, smiling still. Merlin didn't like this one bit, so he followed. He couldn't quite make out what they were saying, but he followed anyway, watching them.

Merlin hadn't thought Arthur noticed him following, until they reached the chambers she would be staying in and they stopped outside. Arthur turned around then and grinned at Merlin. Merlin bit his lip.

"This is my servant, Merlin," Arthur explained. "If you need anything, I'm sure he will be happy to get it for you."

"Oh, thank you, My Lord," Mithian replied, she even sounded like the perfect princess. Merlin smiled at her then, feeling slightly silly for being...well, he didn't want to say suspicious of her intentions with Arthur, but that's what it was. "It is lovely to meet you, Merlin."

He smiled again and nodded, walking forward, between them, to open the door to the chambers. Arthur, being a gentleman, allowed her to enter first, and then Merlin, but only walked a step into the doorway himself.

"I do hope this room is suitable for you, My Lady, but if you will excuse me, I must go meet your father in the council chambers," Arthur bowed slightly, Mithain laughed.

"Of course, you cannot keep a visiting king waiting," she stepped forward and offered Arthur her hand. "I will see you tonight at dinner then, King Arthur."

"Yes," he nodded, shaking her hand slightly, giving a sideways glance to Merlin, before booking it from the room. Merlin was about to leave too, he really had no reason to stay, when Princess Mithian turned around, letting out a breathy sigh.

"I have heard many great things about your king," she explained, giving Merlin another one of her lovely smiles. "But never a thing about what a handsome man he is."

Merlin's eyes widened a little, staring at her. He wasn't sure what to say, but he resisted the urges to yell _MINE!_ Because, Arthur wasn't really his. He was a bit confused about just who Arthur wanted to belong to at the moment. And with all this confusion, Merlin certainly didn't need another person, a beautiful princess at that, making this whole situation even harder.

"He's alright…" Merlin replied, after a moment or two, trying to discourage her. "He's a bit of a prat at times…"

She giggled, "Aren't we all?"

She was perfect, Merlin decided, as he walked down the halls some time later, too perfect. Hell, if Merlin didn't have a most annoying, strange and unwelcomed case of Arthur-itis , he would very happily run away with her, if you know…he wasn't a useless toad of a servant. But that was just it, if even Merlin was tempted by her, wouldn't Arthur be too? One may even say Mithian could make a better queen than even Gwen, being trained and a princess already. She seemed like a dream, a vision of perfect queenliness. She didn't talk down to Merlin like other princesses had, they were having a nice conversation, about Camelot and its people, she seemed genuinely interested in what Merlin was saying and that was the worst part. Because bringing two kingdoms together, through marriage, might be very tempting to Arthur. And then where would Merlin and Gwen be?

As Merlin returned to the king's chambers, he almost wished that he had bumped into Gwen, just to get her thoughts on the visiting royals. Just to see if Gwen felt threatened too, at least it would be reasonable for her to feel the way Merlin was feeling now. But alas, he didn't see her, he was forced to return to his normal, everyday chores. Arthur entered the room, a while later, after Merlin had cleaned the floors and dusted the dust away. However, the first words out of his mouth, made Merlin want to hit him.

"Princess Mithian is quite lovely, isn't she?" he asked, Merlin turned around, dust in his hair and wet shins, giving the king such a glare it almost hurt his face. Arthur chuckled at him. "Don't you think so?"

"Yes I do," Merlin replied, in an undertone, turning away from Arthur, with a cold shoulder. It was time to get the king ready for the feast anyway, it would only be in an hour or so. Merlin scrambled then, to the clothes cupboard, to fetch his fancy entire.

"Guinevere doesn't seem to like her," Arthur stated, as Merlin turned around to find him shirtless. He sucked in a breath, averting his eyes away from bare chest. So, Gwen felt threatened too? At least Merlin wasn't alone in this, but still stupid all the same.

"She hasn't spent time with her," Merlin said, after a few seconds, laying out Arthur's clothes on the table. He turned around when Arthur dropped his pants, when would this stop feeling so awkward? He wondered.

"And you have?"

"Yes," Merlin nodded. "We had a chat in her chambers, she seems very interested in you."

"Does she?"

"She says you are very handsome."

"She does have a point there..."

Merlin let out a laugh, turning around to see Arthur panted again, that was some relief. He watched as Arthur put on his shirt.

"I feel so sorry for you," Merlin told him then, stepping forward, taking the belt off the table, and wrapping it around Arthur's waist, careful not to make it too tight. "Having two beautiful woman wanting your attention," he finished buckling the belt and gave it a shake. "But who will you choose to dance with? This must me so tough for you…"

Arthur let out a huff of laughter, "Perhaps I don't wish to dance with either of them."

"Only if you eat too much pie again..."

"Perhaps I will choose to dance with someone else?"

"Gwaine?" Merlin smirked.

"You," Arthur told him, pointedly, staring at him with a half pleased, half annoyed look. Merlin shrugged.

"In front of everyone? Gwen would probably get mad…"

"Or alone, here tonight…" Arthur murmured, as Merlin wrapped his celebration cape around his shoulders. The king found this the perfect time to put his hands on Merlin's hips and drag him closer. "What do you say?"

"What do I say to what?" Merlin asked, so close to Arthur now, that he found it hard to breath. Arrhur ran his cold nose along Merlin's jawline and Merlin was forced to close his eyes or else he might do something stupid….again, and this was not the time.

"Will you dance with me tonight?"

"I'm a rubbish dancer," Merlin replied, and Arthur hummed, trailing his nose to Merlin's neck.

"We won't actually be doing any dancing, Merlin."

"Then what will we be do…oh," Merlin flushed suddenly, feeling hot all over as he pushed Arthur back and stared at him. The prat had a smirk on his lips and looked drunk already. Merlin felt his heart racing.

"Will you wait for me here, after the feast?"

"I'll wait for you anywhere," Merlin said and he cursed himself. Way to sound like a girl, he thought, but Arthur smiled and ran his hands gently up and down Merlin's sides.

"I'm not sure I want to wait…" Arthur leaned forward then and Merlin did too, only to have their lips touch for a moment, to be halted by a knock at the door.

"Sire, Princsess Mithian awaits you!"

Merlin pulled back and let out a sigh, "But a princess is waiting for you…"

"And yet, all I'll be thinking about is you," Arthur leaned in and left a quick, but rather hard kiss to Merlin's mouth and waltz away then, not even stopping at the door, or taking his sword, he just left it on the table. Merlin picked it up with a sigh, watching the spot where he had seen Arthur last and wondered when he become so love sick.

He found himself even more sickening as he walked down the corridor, toward the feasting room, with Arthur's celebration sword pressed to his chest like it was a gift. But he couldn't find it in himself to care, he thought longingly of the few hours ahead, when he and Arthur would be together and he refused, flat out refused to think of Gwen or Princesses Mithian or anyone else who might stop him from doing this.

He entered the feast and Arthur sat at the head of the table, on one side was the king, Rodor, and the othr was Princess Mithain. Gwen, still Arthur's special guest, sat a few rows down tonight, looking much more annoyed than she ever did at these events. Merlin didn't go to talk to her though, even though part of him wanted to, he would just feel guilty later and really, he didn't want to be bothered with it. Not until the morning anyway, because the guilt would come...at some point.

Laughter and chitter-chatter filled the room, as people ate and drank, Merlin was just wondering when he should tell Arthur he had forgotten his sword, more or less just to get Mithian from hanging all over him for another minute, when there was a crash somewhere. Everyone went silent, looking around and between each other, when yells rang out through the castle, Arthur jumped up first.

"Morgana!" he said loud enough, pulling off his cape and turning to Merlin, blue eyes searching his. "My sword?"

"This is so dull…"

"We haven't time to fetch another!" Arthur told him, snatching it from his hands. "Gather the servants and the people and lead them out of town."

"No, I'm coming with you," Merlin shook his head, there was no way he was going to let Arthur go off to fight an army of men without him there.

"Merlin…" Arthur said, in a warning. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"Gwen can lead them," Merlin suggested, Arthur rolled his eyes. And then another bang filled the air. People were starting to panic, the other knights were starting to spring into action. "I'm coming with you, Arthur."

"For once, Merlin, do as I say!"

And then Arthur was turning and running, skirting through the panicking people, out of the doors. Merlin didn't care what Arthur told him, what anyone may tell him. He dropped the red cape onto the table and rushed after him. It was chaos before long, fighting men, some in black, and some in red. Merlin helped those in red, with magic, any way he could, as he searched for Arthur. By the time he did find the king, the idiot was injured and pressed against a pillar, watching as a group of men draped in black, marched through the courtyard. At the head of them was Morgana, by her side was Agravaine. Arthur let out a growl, upon seeing his uncle and went to charge, but Merlin held him back and stopped him. Arthur turned to him and glared then.

"Not now," Merlin whispered, grabbing his forearm and attempting to drag him back the way Merlin had came, he knew it was safe. But Arthur was being stubborn.

"I told you to go with the others."

"And I told you, I was coming with you."


	12. Chapter 12

Merlin knew Arthur was hurt, and it was getting worse, but the big, dumb clotpole was playing it off as if it were nothing, so it wasn't all that surprising when he fell to his knees, as soon as they had reached Ealdor. Merlin cleaned the wound and banged him up, and allowed him to rest in his old bed. He just sat in the corner of the room, watching him, not even going to see his mother, whom he hadn't seen in fair too long.

She was out talking, to the others they had brought with them, they were bandits in their own right, but Merlin could tell, they were good people. They just miss-judged Arthur, they just didn't see the good in him yet. Merlin feared though, as he heard Arthur let out a sad breath, that perhaps right now, Arthur wasn't seeing the good in himself either. Merlin wanted to say something, but didn't know quite what to say, these last two days had been confusing.

The door burst open then as Merlin opened his mouth to speak, and a flash of purple went past him, he sat up more and stared at the strange figure that turned out to be Gwen, as she rushed into the room and attacked Arthur in a hug. Literally, actually attacked, Merlin was surprised she didn't just jump on him.

"I was so worried about you, Arthur!" she was saying, sounding panicked and Merlin only slightly (by slightly, means actually a lot,) wondered just what she was doing here.

"I'm alright, Guinevere," he was saying, chuckling slightly as he sat up in the bed. Merlin wanted to tell him it would be better and less painful if he stayed flat, but decided against it. "How did you get here?"

"I was separated from Leon when Morgana's men attacked us in the woods," Gwen explained, still sounding panicked. "I just hoped you would be here, I didn't know where else to go."

"I thought we would be safe here..."

Merlin wanted to yell liar, because it was his idea to bring them to Ealdor, not Arthurs. But he held his tongue, he wondered if Arthur even remembered he was in the room.

"You are so smart, Arthur," Gwen mused, leaning forward again and hugged Arthur once more. " But what will we do? Morgana has taken over all of Camelot, half the city was on fire!"

"We will figure something out…" Arthur pulled away from the hug and took her hand, bringing it to his lips. "Together."

Merlin scoffed then, out loud and everything. The sickening pair turned to look at him then, he glared at them.

"Oh, Merlin, I didn't see you there," Gwen said, looking slightly embarrassed, as she stood up from her spot on the bed. "I was worried about you too, I'm glad you're safe."

"Sure…" Merlin trailed off and stood up, he wanted to punch something suddenly. He glanced at Arthur and he just laid there, his hand still latched onto Gwen's and Merlin wondered how he could have been so stupid this entire time. He rolled his eyes and stalked toward the door. "I'll leave you two alone then, I don't fancy seeing anymore."

"Don't worry, Merlin," Gwen called after him, as he attempted to flee from the room. "I know how to tend to Arthur."

He huffed again, "I'm sure you do…"

He was angry, and this was a foolish time to be angry, but he was and he couldn't help it, he wanted to hit something...maybe someone. He settled for slamming the door as he went outside, to find his mother. She was sitting alone, thank the gods, and he smiled, despite his anger, as he approached her. She smiled, a beautiful, wonderful, motherly smile, that almost made him want to cry as he sat down next to her.

"I've missed you, Merlin."

"I've missed you too," he admitted, because he did, all the time. "I've been away too long." He sighed and took her hand in his. "Maybe after this is over…I'll come back."

"Don't be silly," his mother told him. "You belong in Camelot."

"I'm not so sure I do."

"Why would you say such a thing?" she asked. "You know that you do, Arthur needs you."

"He has Gwen now…"

"Merlin!" she started, but was stopped by a loud gallop of a horses hooves on hard ground. A man draped in a red, Pendragon cape was stopping in front of them and jumping down from his horse. Merlin rushed up to meet him.

"I lost her in the woods!" he announced, upon seeing Merlin, in a state Merlin had never quite seen Leon in before. "I didn't know where else to go, or to look…"

"She's here," Merlin said, calmly, taking Leon by the shoulders to clam him. He let out a long breath of relief. "She's not hurt, she's with Arthur."

"Thank the lord," Leon mumbled, more to himself, and then looked up at Merlin. "They have Gaius, I couldn't get to him, and Gwaine…and Elyan." He let out another breath, and this one was shaky. "I couldn't get to them in time."

"It's alright, we'll think of a plan," Merlin told him, finally letting him go to reach up and rub his thorrbing head. This was all such a mess. "Why don't you go clean yourself up? I wouldn't go see Arthur or Gwen right now…never know what you'll run in on."

The two shared a look of utter disgust before Leon patted him on the back and walked toward the lake just outside of the town, pulling his horse along with him. Merlin turned back to his mother then and she was grinning at him.

"Arthur might not need you anymore, so you say, but you are so clearly needed there," she stood up and pulled him into a hug. She touched his face, gently, in that mother's touch kind of way, before walking away. Merlin, for the most part, tried not to fall over, as he sat back down.

He wondered when his life would ever be simple again...if it ever was

They had Gaius, they had Gwaine…they had his friends and suddenly he was angry again. Merlin would find a way to get them out, to save them, and if Arthur was too busy shoving his tongue into Gwen's mouth, well then…Merlin would just do it himself, it wouldn't be the first time. Merlin was meant to do these things alone, to be alone.

When Merlin walked back into the house, it almost dark outside, and he was very grateful to see Gwen sitting in the kitchen with his mother.

"Leon wishes to see you," he told her, this being more or less true. Leon didn't tell him he wanted to see her, but he knew that Leon did, so it was imposable that this was a lie. She nodded and stood up.

"Arthur's asleep, try not to wake him."

"Right," he nodded, but he could care less what Arthur was doing. He watched Gwen walk out and his mother handed him a bowl of gray stuff.

"You should really wake Arthur so he can eat," she told him. "He needs his strength."

Merlin didn't want to tell her that he probably wouldn't eat…whatever this was anyway. He just took it and headed into his room. To his surprise the great, giant clotpole wasn't sleeping at all.

"I was hoping to get out of eating that," he said, with a smirk, as he sat up in the bed, shirtless and bloody-bandaged. Merlin supposed Arthur didn't quite know just how mad Merlin was at him, well…he would soon learn.

"She can't afford anything better," Merlin barked at him. "Maybe you should go ask your sister for something to eat, if she doesn't run you through before you can even open your mouth!"

"What's wrong with you?" Arthur asked, brow forwarding. Merlin shook his head, rolling his eyes.

"Nothing."

"I know you better than that…"

"No you don't," Merlin snapped. "You don't know me at all!"

"Merlin…"

"You still plan on marrying her, don't you?!"

"What…?" Arthur asked, his brow even more forward now. "I said I wouldn't..."

"Oh, so you remember that?" Merlin said, averting his eyes from Arthur, instead looking at the floor. "But you still allow her to be all over you, when I'm right here?"

"I couldn't help that, she was just happy to see me."

"She thinks you are in love with her, that she will be your queen!" Merlin looked back at him and glared something terrible, he feared his face might stick this way. "I will not be your royal bed warmer, Arthur, and that's all you wanted me for, isn't it?"

"No…"

"Right, sure," Merlin turned away and grabbed for the door. "You might be willing to be that king, but I'm not willing to be that servant. Whatever you might have wanted with me…go find someone else to give it to you."

He walked out then, not bothering to turn around.

Merlin stalked through the castle halls, on guard, looking for Gwen. He had heard her yelling a few seconds ago and even though he might not like her so much at the moment, the Arthur stealer that she was, she was his friend and he would do anything he could for her. Morgana was ruthless and even though Gwen used to be her friend too, she would kill her in an instant. Luckily though, thanks to Merlin, Morgana was currently powerless and injured. Okay, he hadn't done the injuring part, but he had done the blocking her magic part.

"What did I do to make you hate me so much?!" he heard Gwen saying and stopped, right outside a doorway, a broken doorway. He could hear the clinks of swords hitting together and knew they were fighting. He twitched in his spot, waiting to act, Morgana was the better fighter, it was only a matter of time.

"It's not what you did, it's what you're destined to do," Morgana told her, sounding out of breath and tired. Merlin twitched again. "And I'm sorry Gwen, but I can never let that happen…"

It had gone silent then, and Merlin knew it was the right time; he stepped around the doorway and used his magic. Morgana never saw it coming, too focused on trying to stab Gwen. She went flying back, bits of wall and ceiling falling onto her. He walked into the room further and touched Gwen's arm, making sure she was okay.

"Are you alright?" he asked, to which she nodded, looking confused ahead of them.

"Yes...what happened?"

He stepped forward, into the rubble, where Morgana was supposed to be and saw nothing but broken bits of wall and castle, he sighed.

"I don't know," he lied.

They both rushed back to where they had left Arthur after that, when they had left him he was fighting a giant, bald man, twice his size and Merlin feared he shouldn't have left him at all. He only had two other people in there to help him and it looked like that man could eat them both for a snack…maybe even all three of them.

Upon entering the room, the first thing he noticed, was Arthur, who was slumped against a pillar, eyes trained to the floor, where the bald man lay dead. There were soft cries coming from another set of pillars, where Tristan and Isolde, (once bandits, but now friends of Arthur's and Camelot's,) lay, pressed against one, Isolde was bleeding and was doing the crying, as Tristan petted her hair.

"Our dreams…" she was crying. Tristan was clearly trying to comfort her, muttering things Merlin couldn't quite make out. Merlin wanted to do something, to help her, but he didn't know how. "Hold me…"

He couldn't bare it, he turned away, looking at Arthur again instead, to see him looking back.

The battle was over, Morgana was gone and everyone in Camelot was busy, either working on cleaning up the castle or securing it. Everyone was doing something, but Merlin. He just sat there, he couldn't shake the somber feeling since Isodle had died. He had liked her so much, she was kind and brave, and Merlin knew, Tristan was with Gaius right now, taking this a lot worse than he was, but he couldn't help it. Knights gathered around him, he had even seen Gwaine a few times and Elyan once, who had been tortured by Morgana apparently. He had even seen Gwen and Arthur pass by him once or twice, neither of them had stopped though, and he didn't want them to. He wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep, for as long as possible; these last days had felt like years.

He guessed he had fallen asleep too, because when he opened his eyes it was dark out and he panicked, sitting up to see Arthur leaning over him.

"What are you doing on the floor?" Arthur was asking him, as Merlin blinked a few times, to get the fuzzy things from his vision. "Why haven't you gone to Gaius' chambers?"

"Tristan is staying there tonight…" Merlin trailed off, averting his eyes from Arthur upon mentioning Tristan. "I'll be sleeping on the floor there too."

"Get up," Arthur offered his hand and Merlin took it, being lifted quickly. "Come on!"

"Where are we going?"

"To my chambers," Arthur replied, pushing him down the hall. "You might not want to be _that_ kind of servant, but you're still my servant."

Merlin felt his stomach turn at Arthur's words. They had more or less made up from that, enough in a way, while they planned for battle; nothing further had been said about it, actually. While Merlin had been focused on Arthur feeling like a right foul king, instead of the brilliant one he actually was, which prompted Merlin to do a lot of lying and Arthur to pull a sword out of a rock…it was his sword anyway, he just didn't know that.

"Arthur," he tried to explain, as he was pushed into Arthur's chambers, it was dark in there, the fire hadn't been lit, nor the candles. Either way, he felt horrible for what he had said, while he was angry. "I'm sorry…"

"Don't," Arthur shook his head, Merlin could hardly tell in the bit of light that was coming into the room. But he couldn't just let this go, he had to tell Arthur. Tell him that he should just marry Gwen, that Merlin wasn't worth it, whatever this had been, or could have been, it just wasn't worth it.

"You shou-"

"I love you."

"…what?" Merlin's mouth fell open, as his heart threatened to come up his throat and fall out. He gapped at Arthur, trying to form words. Arthur loved him?

"I love you," Arthur said it again, Merlin couldn't believe he had said it the first time, it was even more confident this time. "You will never be just that servant to me."

"I...I don't understand," Merlin mumbled, he would kick himself, for lack of things to say, if he had enough air in his body to move properly.

"Merlin," Arthur said, putting one hand on Merlin's side and the other on the back of his neck, jerking him closer. "I have almost lost you before, I couldn't bare losing you again, this time, perhaps forever, without..."

"Without...?" Merlin urged him on, breathless.

"Without telling you how I really feel about you," he continued, Merlin grinned then, not being able to stop it, not that he tried to. He leaned forward, but Arthur stopped him, with a finger pressed to his mouth where his lips should be pressing. "Merlin," Merlin frowned, confused. "I want you to understand, I would never treat you like something less than you deserve. I know I said I wouldn't give it a thought, if I were selfish and took a queen, but that is only because I love you."

"You have to stop saying that," Merlin shook his head, it did odd things to his insides when Arthur said it, and he wasn't quite sure he liked it or not...but he did, he really did.

"Why?" Arthur asked then, looking concerned. "Do you not believe me?"

"Of course I do," Merlin smiled, biting down on his lip. "It just feels strange, hearing you say it."

"It feels strange saying it," Arthur admitted, smiling again, reaching up, with the hand that had been at Merlin's side, to run gentle fingers along his cheekbone. "Sleep with me tonight...?" he asked, but before Merlin could respond, he added. "Just sleep, after the events today, I want to be close with someone."

"Of course, Merlin nodded. He helped him out of the few bits of armor he was wearing and Arthur offered him his hand after, Merlin took it, being dragged, willingly, to the bed. As they lay down Merlin rested his head on the kings shoulder and sighed. "I love you too, you know that right?"

"I know," Arthur replied, wrapping his arms around Merlin, bringing him even closer.

"I just wanted to make sure you did..." Merlin told him, Arthur stroked gentle fingers through Merlin's short hair and suddenly he pictured Tristan and Isolde, he sighed. "This isn't over you know? Morgana is still out there somewhere..."

"I know," Arthur said again, but sounded at peace with it. Merlin wasn't so sure he felt the same about this fact.

"Agravaine's dead, you know?" Merlin told him, he knew this because it had been him who killed the man. He took in a sharp breath, and Arthur rubbed gentle fingers along his arm, as well as his hair now, almost comforting like.

"I know..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (This is the last chapter of this one and here's something you can strew over, how did Arthur know Agravaine was dead before Merlin even told him? And one more thing, you can just assume that Mithian and her father went back to their kingdom, even though it wasn't mentioned. Because I forgot. The next one, which will be called Enamored, will be put up in a few days. Thanks for reading!)


End file.
